Hey Laker fan, hope you enjoyed the first two games of the season because that's the way it's going to go all year long. Kobe Bryant gets his teammates, most notably Chris Mihm, involved and they win the opener against Denver. Pretty hilarious that he wouldn't pass the ball to Shaquille O'Neal but that he will pass it to Mihm. Then last night, Chris Mihm remembered he was Chris Mihm, Bryant had no help and they were hammered by Utah. Nothing like Bryant pouring in 38 and the Lakers still losing by 26. This is what you signed up for Kobe. You didn't want Shaq or Phillip around, now it's your show, you're the man. You're the man on a team that just got its head beat in by a slightly above average Utah team. The man on a team that will be lucky to finish at .500 this year. Congratulations on being the new Dominique Wilkins.

As end zone celebrations go, Terrell Owens' clown job on Ray Lewis this past Sunday surpassed anything he has done to date. And as you might imagine, Lewis was not down. "I didn't see it. Not at all. If you're going to play a football game, don't be a coward and wait until you make one play and do something. Just play football." Trust me, he saw it. And if you don't like Owens clowning you, keep him out of the end zone.

All in all, a great day for TO. His team won, he had a big day and he clowned the most dangerous man in the NFL. The only thing missing was him calling Jeff Garcia gay, otherwise it would have been a perfect day for TO

Nice of Boston red sox funnyman Kevin Millar to admit that he and his teammates started throwing down shots of Jack Daniels before game 6 of the ALCS and continued through the rest of the postseason. No, it didn't cost them the ring and, I'm not saying that this sort of thing doesn't go on, or that Millar and the fellas took the field plastered. They didn't. But, don't tell me his teammates aren't bent that he went with that on a TV show, because they are. You know one of them probably said, 'Hey, Kev, why don't you go with me cheating on my wife on the road; if it will help your segment, I'm good with it." Them doing it isn't a big thing. Him saying it is. All players want to know that what is said, done and seen in the clubhouse, stays there. And I would imagine them pounding shots of whiskey before playoff games falls into that category.

Quote of the week belongs to Minnesota Timberwolves player Latrell Sprewell who's bent that the team hasn't hooked him up with a contract extension: "Why would I want to help them win a title? They're not doing anything for me. I've got a lot of risk here. I've got my family to feed." Why would I want to help them win a title? I don't know, because it's your job?! Because I was under the impression that's why all pro athletes play the game, to win a ring. And is there anything funnier than a pro athlete, much less one who has banked the jack that Spree has, complaining that he has to feed his family, when there are people out there who really are struggling to feed their families? Sorry, but that rings just a little hollow for me.

Siegfried and Roy can come out of hiding. Wayne Newton, Celine Dion and Danny Ganz can once again sleep at night. The transvestites and Joan Rivers impersonators can again walk the strip with their heads held high because former Raiders kicker Cole Ford is in custody. Remember, it was Ford who emptied a shotgun into the home of Siegfried and Roy back in September. As for Ford, at least he'll no longer be remembered as the guy who missed all those big kicks for the Raiders. Now he'll be known as the nut job who opened fire on a couple of sequined, cape-wearing magicians. Look, I know he's dealing with some mental health issues, and I hope he gets the help he needs, but who's going to protect David Copperfield?

Rising, Oklahoma freshman running back Adrian Peterson. Memo to all Heisman voters: pull your heads out and base your votes on a guy's ability not on his class. Anyone who says they will never vote for a freshman should have their vote ripped. You're supposed to vote for the best player in America, not the best upper classman. . The guy dropped 225 yards on Texas, 249 on Oklahoma St. And right now, is the best player in America and deserves the Heisman trophy.

Proving once again that he is the biggest baby in all of baseball, Sammy Sosa cracked back on the Cubs, saying he felt mistreated and humiliated when Dusty Baker dropped him to sixth in the batting order: "I'm not a sixth batter. I'm a cleanup hitter or third because I've earned that right with almost 600 homeruns." Hank Aaron has 755 homeruns and I don't see the Braves still batting him fourth, Sam. Let me see if I have this straight. He abandons his team for the final game of the year because he's upset about trade rumors, but the team mistreated him?! Right. And that really was just a batting practice stick that opened up, leaving cork all over the infield at Wrigley.

The University of North Carolina, Charlotte is no longer a real university. . Not after I heard that they have a class which allows students to watch American karaoke, errr, American Idol. The class, 'Examining American Idol' is worth 3 course credits and requires students to write an essay on who should win. Is this college or kindergarten? How many units for finger-painting and not eating the Play-Doh? I mean, what says 'higher education' more than watching a bunch of no talent hacks butcher other musicians' songs? Incredible. Look, reality TV has already dumbed this country down to alarming levels. The last thing we need is to give it legitimacy in a university environment. Then again, why do I even bother? Even I admit I'm fighting a losing battle. I might as well get on board. I'm now anxiously awaiting 'Deconstructing The Apprentice 201', and 'Introduction to WifeSwap 5'. Come on. This can't be a real course at a real university, can it?