ROME IS BURNINGCheck out these incentives that the Chargers reportedly put into Philip Rivers contract before they ripped it off the table. If he wins four Super Bowls and plays in four Pro Bowls in his first four years, he gets $5 million bucks. Five Super Bowls and five Pro Bowls in five years, 7.5 mill. Six Super Bowls and six Pro Bowls in six years, 10 mill. You have got to be kidding me. How about six Super Bowls and six Pro Bowls and you get a trillion bucks? And get to be emperor of the universe. In my ESPN contract, if I find a cure for cancer in my first year, I get a mill. A cure for a cancer and I get Osama bin Laden in two years, two mill. A cure for cancer, Osama, and I find the weapons of mass destruction in three years. Three mill. Who comes up with this garbage? Further evidence that the Chargers are the biggest circus in the league right now.
The NFL season hasn't even started but Philadelphia's Terrell Owens is already in mid season form. Playboy magazine asks T.O. in its September issue, "Jeff Garcia has denied media rumors he's gay. What do you think?" T.O.'s response? "If it looks like a rat, and smells like a rat, then by golly, it's a rat." Look, I don't care how bad of a QB you think he is, or how bad a ball he throws or even if you think he is gay, you don't go there. Incredible! There is nothing in the NFL that interests me less than whether or not Jeff Garcia is gay. Maybe he is, maybe he's not. I don't care. But I do know this: it's not T.O.'s place to 'out' him, whether or not he was ever in to begin with.
Chicago Cubs manager Dusty Baker admitted earlier this week that although he wanted to drop a slumping Sammy Sosa lower in the lineup, he didn't because he was afraid of how he would react: "Sammy is a warrior and very proud, but he is also sensitive too." Translated: he's a big baby. Sammy reportedly had told Baker previously, that he would bat fourth , but not fifth or six. How about you bat where the manager wants you to bat. Sammy's not about team, he's about Sammy. If he was about the team, he'd say, "Hey skip, do what you have to do, I'm here for you and the team, tell me where to hit and I'll do it." But that's not what he said, because he's not about the team. He's about Sammy.
There have been plenty of amazing Olympic moments to look back on. Jesse Owens winning four gold medals in Hitler's backyard in 1936. The 'Miracle on Ice' in 1980. But probably none better than what happened 20 years ago right here in Los Angeles. A bare footed Zola Budd throwing a text book slide tackle on Mary Decker, knocking her out of the 3000 meters. Decker hits the infield hard, while Budd barely even glances back to acknowledge her arch rival. And Decker indelibly marked the moment by failing to get up, opting instead to lie in the infield and cry. It doesn't get any better than that. For my money, the best moment in Olympic history, bar none.
Falling, the world sauna championships.
Big ups to Leo Pusa of Finland for winning the world sauna championship last weekend by spending nearly 12 minutes in a 230 degree sauna. Dude spent 12 minutes in a 230 degree room? Since when is jumping into, and sitting in, an oven considered a sport? This makes the hot dog eating contest look like the World Series and Super Bowl combined. Attempting to cremate yourself should not be a sport. Making matters worse is the fact that several thousand people showed up to watch the competitors bake. If baking bread isn't a sport, then neither is baking people. 230 degrees! I'm looking forward to next year's jamming a hot poker in your eye championships. Believe me, that's no more ridiculous than the sauna title.
If you needed another reason to dislike Barry Bonds, then here it is. Bonds says he's exhausted because no one will pitch to him: "Walking is harder than hitting because you're on your feet all day. I never sit down. I'd go on the bases, stand up, go to get my glove and stand out there, except for a few minutes, go and hit, grab my glove, run a base, score, whatever, grab my glove, go out there. That's hard. That's not easy. Let somebody do that and see how it feels." Let somebody do that and see how it feels? Fine. I volunteer. . Pretty much everyone on the entire planet not named Alex Rodriguez would gladly trade places with you. Construction workers, waitresses, postal workers, people who really are on their feet all day have a reason to be tired. You don't Barry. How such a smart guy can say something so stupid is beyond me.
Sad times here as JRIB favorite Rick James passed on this week. James, 56, was said to have died of natural causes. Is that what doing millions of piles of toot passes for these days? Natural causes? Let's not forget, this is a guy who was accused of imprisoning a woman, burning her with a hot crack pipe and making her perform sex acts for he and his girlfriend during a cocaine bender. How does that work? I have a hot crack pipe and I'm not afraid to use it. Of course it was a hot crack pipe. You couldn't imprison anyone with a cold crack pipe. Rest in peace, Super Freak.