"As African-American players, we have a theory that baseball can go get an imitator and pass them off as us. It's like they had to get some kind of dark faces, so they go to the Dominican or Venezuela because you can get them cheaper. It's like, 'Why should I get this kid from the South Side of Chicago and have Scott Boras represent him and pay him $5 million when you can get a Dominican guy for a bag of chips?'"
-- Torii Hunter, Los Angeles Angels
Is Hunter right? Can Latin American ballplayers be compensated with nothing more than salty snack foods? Only if you have a fleet of shipping trucks ... and a couple dozen cargo tankers. Page 2 did the math, and in the words of Chicago White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen, Hunter is "a little behind saying we get potato chips":
| SNACK ATTACK | ||
| Player | Salary | Equivalent Snack Compensation |
| Johan Santana, New York Mets | $18.8 million | 9.4 million canisters of Pringles Super Stack Potato Crisps |
| Alfonso Soriano, Chicago Cubs | $17 million | 12.2 million Slim Jim Giant Slim Spicy Smoked Sticks |
| Mariano Rivera, New York Yankees | $15 million | 8.4 million boxes of Saltines |
| David Ortiz, Boston Red Sox | $12.5 million | 6.3 million bags of MixMatch Cheese and Caramel Gourmet Popcorn |
| Vladimir Guerrero, Texas Rangers | $15 million | 6.8 million bags of Pepperidge Farm Flavor Blasted Goldfish, Xtra Cheddar |
| Bobby Abreu, Los Angeles Angels | $5 million | 1.5 million bags of Cheez-It Crackers |
| Aroldis Chapman, Cincinnati Reds | $2.25 million (with bonus) | 753,000 bags of Chex Party Mix |
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