What they're saying about Favre   

Updated: March 4, 2008, 12:26 PM ET

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Brett Favre is gone. Life has no meaning.

While I wasn't the one to break the news of His Gunslingerness' retirement, I have been working the phones since the moment the news came out to get reaction from big names in and out of football. Here are some of them:

"See, this is why we traded him. He's a quitter." -- former Falcons coach Jerry Glanville

"Boom! Bam! Pow! That's the sound my giant tears are making when they hit the floor." -- John Madden

"Noooooooo! I'm still 60 sacks short of the all-time record." -- Michael Strahan

"Maybe we should trade for my brother-in-law. He might be good enough to beat out Aaron Rodgers." -- A.J. Hawk

"I tip my 40-ounce mocha double latte with extra whipped cream to his memory." -- Peter King

"What? Worn out after 275 consecutive starts, are you? What a wimpy little girl." -- Cal Ripken Jr.

"Trust me on this: Brett should stick around one more year." -- Tiki Barber

"All that we have now to remember him is game film. Hours and hours and hours of game film." -- Bill Belichick

"If he's feeling tired and beat-up, I know of some stuff that can help with that." -- Shawne Merriman

"Great. Now he'll be more of a regular in our interracial two-hand touch games we play in a nearby wheat field while wearing our Wranglers as our dogs watch from the back of our pickup trucks." -- Brett Favre's friends

"Looks like it's time for The Majik Man to make his triumphant return." -- Don Majkowski

"I make terrible decisions and throw a lot of interceptions. Any chance I can take over his title of 'gunslinger' now?" -- Rex Grossman

"Thanks for retiring after first breaking all of my records. You won't be getting any Isotoners from me next Christmas." -- Dan Marino

"You are a great quarterback and a fine actor. In fact, you are a much better actor than I am." -- Cameron Diaz

"Why did he make this decision so quickly? He still has plenty of time to think through all of his options." -- Terrelle Pryor

"I hope this doesn't mean you are going to run and jump into my arms every time you successfully take the trash out or change a light bulb." -- Deanna Favre

"Brett will love retirement. It's nice not having to stay in shape all the time." -- Gilbert Brown

"Retired? Brett Favre? Any chance he will come out of retirement for a one-year, $40 million contract?" -- Daniel Snyder

"I ended the Patriots' perfect season and sent Brett Favre out of the NFL a loser. Who is man enough to step to this?" -- Eli Manning

"Sweet! I still think I have a good year or two left in me." -- Aaron Rodgers

DJ Gallo is the founder and sole writer of the sports satire site SportsPickle.com. He is also a regular contributor to ESPN The Magazine and has written for The Onion and Cracked. His first book -- "SportsPickle Presents: The View from the Upper Deck" -- is on sale now.


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