Capturing the spirit of the Olympics in pictures   

Updated: August 19, 2008, 1:42 PM ET

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There are 55 languages spoken at the Beijing Olympics. And they say a picture is worth a thousand words. Considering that, below are captions to 21 photos from the opening week of the Olympics, if my math is correct, this column checks in at a hefty 1.115 million words.

I am quite prolific.

"This would be the proudest moment of my life -- if only I wasn't dressed like this."

"I'll be John Carlos!" "I'll be Tommie Smith!"

"You had me at 'bump.'"

"Flopping for one's country means so much more."

"I knew that honey pot was a trap."

"Tell these people to stop laughing at my outie!"

"What did you expect? You hold the medal ceremony in the morning, I'm going to show up in my bathrobe."

"They should have had me do the special effects for the Opening Ceremonies."

"It finally clotted! It fin-al-ly clot-teeeeeeeed!"

"It's OK. You have only brought shame on our entire nation."

"I feel like there is a bigger world out there somewhere."

"Hurry! Michael Phelps is gaining on us!"

"Oh, no! River pirates!"

"Gimme the character for handball! Yeah!"

"Oh, how I wish I could un-see that Chinese girl who really sang for the Opening Ceremonies. Her non-perfectly-cuteness sickens me."

"This is not the arena music I had hoped for."

"It's time to bring sexy back to water polo."

"Shark! And it's big!"

"No audit for you!"

"Do you realize I curse fluently in 12 different languages?"

"Finally my glasses are in style!"

DJ Gallo is the founder and sole writer of the sports satire site He also is a regular contributor to ESPN The Magazine and has written for The Onion and Cracked. His first book, "SportsPickle Presents: The View from the Upper Deck," is on sale now.


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