Single page view By Jay Lovinger
Page 2

Why would a grown man choose to call himself Mr. McPeePee?

I found myself contemplating this primal mystery of poker as I played against just such an august personage recently in a $20 buy-in five-handed extreme turbo sit & go one-table tournament, wherein the blind levels go up every other hand, making this entertaining form of no-limit hold 'em one of the specialties of the Captain Cooks online site.

Before I try to answer that question, let's consider some of the reasons players name themselves as they do when they play online.

1) Intimidation: This is the ultimate, the holy grail of online handles. If you could find a name that would cause your unseen opponents to hesitate for a moment before trying a scary all-in bluff ... hey, who wouldn't that?


• dukenukem (who claims to be from London).

• Scudmissile (who hails from sthlm – and would that be short for Stockholm, Mr. Missile?).

• Ifear4u.

• Cossack (from Ipswich), who was playing in the same $10 NL sit & go with B-Nice-2-Me (from Sunbyberg). Sounds like one of the great sadomasochistic pairings of the modern hold 'em era, no?

• ChokeOnThis (from Vancouver). And we thought Canadians were supposed to be bland ... and nice.

And my favorite ...

• WhenWillJack (TakeUrStack?).

2) Confusing Table Image: Let's say you want to mislead your opponents, subliminally, about your playing style. Maybe you're tough and aggressive, but you want to hide behind a name that makes you sound like a pussycat.

Then how about trying something like, oh, FATWALLETS (from Ashford)?

Or Softman (from Arros)?

Or, best of all, Bozo De Clown (from Naugatick)?

3) Your 15 Seconds of Pseudo Fame: A recent trend seems to be "borrowing" a moniker from the rich and famous, both inside and outside the game.


• FredoC (from New York City), yet another homage to the "Godfather" movies. This, of course, could be a category No. 2 name for a Master of the Universe type looking for psychological camouflage.

• SHAQDADDY (from FT. LAUDERDALE). I suppose this actually could be the Diesel himself, since he was recently given a year's worth of free lessons from World Series of Poker champion Greg Raymer, donated by an Internet site on the occasion of his 33rd birthday ... except I found this guy playing in a $.50-1 NL game on Captain Cooks, which would make him the Little Aristotle, wouldn't it?

• There's even an impostor who frequents Captain Cooks and goes by the name Jackpot Jay. Don't know who that guy is, but, boy, is he terrible.

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4.) Cleverness: Both real and imagined. So there's ...

• Nice Bluff (from Sorrybuddy), who also may be trying to pass himself off as a calling station, a la category No. 2.

• JobyWan (from Saint Petersburg). Names derived from "Star Wars" are surprisingly popular online, which is demographically revealing, don't you think?

• And, sitting right next to each other in a $.50-1 game early Sunday morning were Whatsupdog (from London) and BestofBreed (from Skedsmo). I kid you not. By nature, I'm not a suspicious man. But if I were, I'd keep a careful eye out for collusion when those two doggie-style gamblers are in a hand at the same time.

So where do Mr. McPeePee, and the wonderfully infantile poopandpoker (from Narragansett), fit in? I see this as a subtle subset of category No. 2, which we will call The Crazy Eddie Corollary.

You remember Crazy Eddie, don't you? Back in the day, there was a chain of discount electronic stores by that name. They were famous for a TV advertising campaign that featured an actor who played Crazy Eddie, the chain's owner. The ads consisted almost entirely of the actor screaming incoherently about the incredible bargains available at Crazy Eddie – bargains so incredible, in fact, that they were, as he invariably put it, "INSANE!" The (barely) subliminal message – Come down here and take advantage of us, because we are crazy.


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