By The Intern
Page 2

Today I return to school. For those who are unfamiliar with the unbridled joy that is law school, I'd like to let you in on a little secret -- you were once there, and it was called "high school." Forget the workload, the general paranoia, or even the culture shock of class attendance mattering, the most searing impression that law school left upon me was the overarching déjà vu, right down to the personalized lockers, gossipy cliques, musical chair dating scene, and sack lunches. I spent my entire first year waiting to be informed that I was unknowingly taking part in a scientific bio-dome experiment (think MTV's "The 70's House," but more generic). With each year, you become increasingly removed from the high school throwback vibe, but it always exists in the undertones.

And now you know. I'm off to go paddle some first-years. (Garret in Vegas) -- I know he's big-time these days, but 1K for a Woody Paige autographed head shot? What am I missing here? For further proof that something strange is going on, check out the winning bidder -- thejaymariotti. -- Slash and Duff are finally suing Axl for unpaid royalties. I'm all about liberally applying Walton-esque hyperbole, but this time I truly mean it: Nobody has let me down over the years more than Axl Rose. Nobody. -- How can you shoot the devil in the back? What if you miss? (Or just hit him in the leg) -- In preparation for his dance-off with Kelly Monaco, John O'Hurley has enlisted help from The Swayze. It's still not pull-ups over fire deep within the mountains of Siberia, but this will certainly do. -- An expose on the troubling nature of "the coach's son." This needed to be said for a long time. (Stephen S.) -- Speaking of coaches' sons (and their fathers), it's good to see that Marv Marinovich is still at it. If you do nothing else today, please check out the absurd and completely fixed shot of a 40-year-old white man putting Vince Carter to shame (click on biographies and then scroll to the bottom). I don't even think he used a trampoline -- that looks like the work of a cannon.

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