PART I | PART II | PART III | PART IV | PART V | PART VI | PART VII | PART VIII

"Terrell how's the ankle? Terrell how's the ankle? Terrell how's the ankle? Terrell how's the ankle? Terrell how's the ankle? Terrell how's the ankle? Terrell how's the ankle? Terrell how's the ankle? Terrell how's the ankle? Terrell how's the ankle? Terrell how's the ankle? Terrell how's the ankle? Terrell how's the ankle? Terrell how's the ankle? Terrell how's the ankle? Terrell how's the ankle?"

Imagine this headline: "Page 2 columnist intentionally trips T.O. at Media Day, Eagles star doubtful for game." Would any jury have convicted me? It would have been the only way we could stop hearing about his damned ankle.

That's me and my friend Paul Raff, a writer on "Jimmy Kimmel Live." They were in Jacksonville shooting a bit with Refrigerator Perry for their show. Don't worry, you'll get to see pictures of him in a second. I just wanted to show you the ghastly beard I grew for the Super Bowl. Isn't it atrocious? I look like Greg Evigan in "My Two Dads."

Solomon Wilcots, Terrell Davis and Rich Eisen on their NFL Network set. Thanks to one of the Eagles, Rich is wearing a bowtie -- he looks like a game show host on Bravo. By the way, T.D.'s girlfriend/wife was so smoking, we called her the "Extra Point." Now that's some good Media Day comedy.

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Bill Simmons is a columnist for Page 2 and ESPN The Magazine. His Sports Guy's World site is updated every day Monday through Friday.