PART I | PART II | PART III | PART IV | PART V | PART VI | PART VII | PART VIII

That's the tray of bacon from the Media Day brunch. Eventually, we're going to have the world's first 600-pound sportswriter. I think it's going to happen in my lifetime.

Wide shot of the circular brunch set-up. For whatever reason, the Eagles session went from 10 to 11 a.m., but the Patriots session didn't start until 1 p.m. I think they wanted the writers to keep eating until they were in a food coma, just so they wouldn't ask any tough questions. Had to be Belichick's idea.

There was an enormous number of media members crowding around two-time Super Bowl MVP Tom Brady -- nearly 200 times as many people as at Peyton Manning's podium.

Moments after I snapped this photo, Belichick's voice lulled me to sleep. Couldn't he have worn the Loverboy headband? Would that have been too much to ask?

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Bill Simmons is a columnist for Page 2 and ESPN The Magazine. His Sports Guy's World site is updated every day Monday through Friday.