PART I | PART II | PART III | PART IV | PART V | PART VI | PART VII | PART VIII

For an entire hour, the crowd around new Notre Dame head coach Charlie Weis was like 20-deep. Anyway, see that girl smiling in the background? That's Jimmy Kimmel Live field producer Jen Sharron, who played softball at Notre Dame and once hit a home run off Jennie Finch -- making her the winner of "The Coolest Athletic Achievement Of Anyone I've Ever Hung Out With." She just wanted to be within five feet of Charlie. Notre Dame grads are a little psycho, if you ask me.

There was a Univision reporter on hand who interviewed people in a crazy voice, only using a set of eyeballs that were attached to his hand. Even Fred Armisen couldn't have come up with this in a sketch. Here's the Eyeballs Guy talking to Pat O'Brien. You couldn't make some of this stuff up.

A birds-eye look of the field for Super Bowl XXXIX: Where the Patriots will officially become a dynasty in five days. (Whoops, I sound like a Yankee fan again. Sorry.)

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Bill Simmons is a columnist for Page 2 and ESPN The Magazine. His Sports Guy's World site is updated every day Monday through Friday.