Single page view By Bill Simmons
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"It's one of those scenarios you feel will never happen to you. Nobody thinks they're going to be the one, whatever, to get in a car wreck to have their, you know, their kids killed in a plane crash, whatever, you don't think those things are going to happen to you. And I didn't think that I'd be traded. So."
-- Bronson Arroyo on being traded to the Reds

"When I think of Minneapolis, I think of Prince."
-- Georgetown coach John Thompson III, when asked his thoughts on the city that would play host to his team's Sweet Sixteen matchup with Florida

"I remember draft night, I shook David Stern's hand while rocking a red suit with white pinstripes and red gators … I've always been a trendsetter."
-- Jalen Rose

"I think dropping 44 on Coolio one night."
-- Roger Lodge on his career highlight in the NBA Entertainment League

"He's more like Jesus than I thought. Guys would be huddled around talking smack in the clubhouse and Roger walks in. It's like the parting of the Red Sea."
-- Chipper Jones on what it's like to play with Roger Clemens

"Are you basing it on the regular season or the playoffs? I mean, it's hard to compare guys that have never been to the Finals to other players. If you gear yourself to play six months of the year, it's completely different than gearing yourself to play nine months a year. My whole focus was trying to gear myself to play nine months a year."
-- Larry Bird, responding to Tommy Heinsohn's comment that Paul Pierce was the greatest offensive player in Celtics history

"Arousal-control has been an issue for me since the beginning of my career."
-- Bode Miller

"What comes out of the microwave hot doesn't always stay hot. I know, because I eat bagels in the morning."
-- Shaquille O'Neal, following the Heat's comeback win over the Celtics

"I don't know about Brad Pitt, leaving that beautiful woman to go hold orphans for Angelina. I mean how long is that going to last?"
-- Michael Douglas

"It was shock. You almost feel you have three or four innings to play, but you go home."
-- Alex "Mr. March" Rodriguez after losing to Mexico in the WBC

"If someone saw me in the shower, they'd never think I was on the juice."
-- Jason Schmidt

"He worries about what people say about him and he Googles himself."
-- David Wells on Bud Selig

"There's something about Hoopz. She nervouses me."
-- Flavor Flav (from "Flavor of Love")

"I've won Player of the Month before. They don't ever give me anything for it. A new car, something, a plaque."
-- Paul Pierce

"Because I want to have my arm in good shape, I need to have my legs in good shape. Without a leg, there is no arm."
-- Pedro Martinez

"People say I'm a gold digger, but do you see me wearing gold? No. I'm wearing diamonds."
-- Anna Benson

"It wasn't even close; I was awesome."
-- Daryl Strawberry, on whether he saw any similarities between Mets' top hitting prospect Lastings Milledge and himself

"I'm the luckiest man on earth right now."
-- Drew Lachey, after winning "Dancing with the Stars"


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