And the 2019 Razzie goes to...

Razzie0721 lIllustrations by Ryan Inzana

Can you guess which one of these not-gonna-win-an-Oscar projects is real?

A. BOTTOM OF THE NINTH: Real-life husband and wife Joe Manganiello and Sofia Vergara star in this movie about a teen baseball star who makes a violent mistake, gets 20 years in prison, then tries to rekindle his diamond career -- and his lost love -- when he's released. In theaters July 9.

B. OLD JOGS: In a sequel to 2009's Old Dogs, sports marketer Charlie Reed (John Travolta) tries to fend off a corporate raider (Angela Lansbury) who makes a run at his firm. They eventually decide to settle it on the streets: If he beats her in the NYC Marathon, she'll walk away. In theaters July 16.

C. THE SPORTING GOODS: Craig T. Nelson stars as a gently worn first baseman's glove, Romney Mitt, the OG of a struggling sports gear shop. Can Romney and wife Shoulder Paddy (Octavia Spencer) save their store? On Netflix July 20.

D. FIRE-ABLE OFFENSE: Coach JJ Wilt (Tim Allen) knew O-coordinator Turk Junkett (Dave Bautista) was crucial for the morale of his woeful college team. But he had no idea what a lifesaver the ex-SEAL would be until hangry aliens began to ravage campus. On Syfy July 23.

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Can you guess which one of these prolly-not-gonna-win-any-awards books is real?

A. THE BUD-KET LIST: Since retiring, ex-MLB commish Bud Selig has been on a mission to do -- and chronicle in photo essays -- activities he has always wanted to try. Chapter 1? Bud runs with the bulls! On sale July 9.

B. A WORLD CHAMPION'S GUIDE TO RUNNING THE BEER MILE: Author Lewis Kent went viral in 2015 for setting a record by running a 4:47 mile -- while drinking four beers. He calls his new autobiography "a manual and memoir of running, chugging and (not) throwing up." Those are words to live by! On sale July 2.

C. YO, ADRIAN: Author/illustrator/future MLB HOFer Adrian Beltre presents a choose-your-own-adventure children's book. All 1,000 copies are hand-drawn and handwritten by Beltre, with proceeds going to charity. On eBay July 23.

D. GET ON BOARD THE TRAVOLTA TRAIN: Ever wonder how John Travolta stays in shape? Wonder no more! The actor has teamed up with jock friends (such as pal Cal Ripken Jr.) all over the globe to present a 200-page workout guide and cookbook that will whip you into shape! On sale July 16.

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Can you guess which one of these prolly-not-gonna-win-any-awards podcasts is real?

A. ROOKS AND RUMBLES: Yes, chess boxing (two minutes of boxing, one of chess) is real -- and is celebrated in this monthly podcast, hosted by chess boxing celeb superfan John Travolta, grandmaster Wesley So and boxing champ Paulie Malignaggi. They even ring a bell between segments! Available on iTunes.

B. THE SITUATIONAL ROOM: Starters and closers? Meh. For MLB fans who cherish the situational lefty, hosts Jennie Finch, Arthur Rhodes and Paul Quantrill come at you like a crisp nine-pitch sixth-inning hold. Available on Spotify from Aug. 1 until the end of the season.

C. UFC-U Later: A weekly hourlong podcast about fighters recently cut from the UFC? Yep. Castaways Phil Davis, Sage Northcutt and Miesha Tate want your cauliflowered ears for some transaction chat! Available on Google Play Music.

D. CFL FANTASY PODCAST: For all the start-sit CFL info you can handle, fantasy analysts Jeff Krever, Hannah Nordman and Pat Steinberg have you covered. Next step: finding nine other people on earth who want to play fantasy CFL. Available on www.CFL.ca.

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Can you guess which one of these prolly-won't-win-any-awards radio shows is real?

A. DREAM OF FIELDS: Think Hollywood doesn't shoot sports very well in movies? So does this John Travolta-led monthly show, in which various experts assess the actual sports in a new movie, live from a theater in LA. First up: Travolta, Jeff Gordon and an audience break down Hobbs & Shaw. On ESPNLA 710 on Aug. 8, 1 p.m. ET.

B. PROS & CONNS: Check out this new monthly show devoted to the Conn Smythe, with host Bron Crunk and ex-Smythe winner Patrick Roy. Bonus: During the broadcast, one lucky caller can win a full day with the Conn! Airs the first Thursday of every month on 92.5 FM in Toronto.

C. MUSH MOUTHS: Ex-Iditarod champs Libby Riddles and Mitch Seavey will keep your dog whistle wet all year round. Best part? The wacky calls that flood in from Iditarod die-hards. Available every Sunday at 4 a.m. ET on the Mike's On app.

D. WYNDHAM CHAMPIONSHIP: It's golf ... on the radio ... and it's not a major ... but gather round the radio on Aug. 1 to catch every shot from Sedgefield and answer golf's biggest question: Can Brandt Snedeker repeat? Tune in to SiriusXM Channel 92.

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Movies: Old Jogs needs to happen, but it's not a real project yet. In the meantime, enjoy Bottom of the 9th!

Books: That Travolta training book is a must-have ... if it were real. The correct pick here is B.

Podcasts: Let's GoFund that fake chess boxing show. For now, though, the real one is D.

Radio:Travolta + Jeff Gordon = radio magic ... but, alas, you're going to have to settle for the Wyndham Championship.