"Bro, you're a gangsta!" "Dude, Delta Chi's forever, man. Forever!" Getty Images

We're currently in the thick of the wedding season, with daughters being lost and sons being gained at an extraordinary rate, and that's before taking into account the flood of love being unleashed in California. Even the Motel 6 continental breakfast lounge is double-booked for receptions. So, we're making it easy for you, the lazy but loving sports-addled best man. We have your speech, just take five to fill in the blanks. Then, it's all yours! But please, keep it clean. GamGam is here, after all. It looks long…it's not! Five minutes. So FILL IT OUT HERE.

You can even print it out and save a copy! And by all means, if you know a friend who must make a speech soon, send him the template and bail him out. When someone has a bad speech, Lord knows we all suffer. Share the wealth, people.