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REPORTING FROM ... DITAN PARK

It's not the real thing, but it came pretty close. Anthony Tao

Well, we just saw the Opening Ceremonies, stuffed inside Ditan Park (Temple of Earth) with thousands of others. The big screen wasn't as good as the real thing—feel free to rub it in, Luke and Alyssa—but even standing outside in heat and humidity, and fighting off mosquitoes, there were moments that made our jaws drop. Seriously. That was pretty cool.

Of course, you don't know that, since NBC's airing the show on tape delay. That's okay. We won't give anything away. Just know that:

1. NBA players are astoundingly popular with the Chinese.
2. The Olympic anthem is much longer than the Chinese anthem.
3. There are way too many participating countries, so if you have TiVo, this may be a good time to put it to use.
4. Wow.

But don't take our word for it.

"I thought it was great," said Canadian Kate Drance. "Great great great."

"Good luck to London trying to top that," said Israelian Guy Sivan.

Will London top it in 2012? "Um, no," said Briton Terence Parker.

"It made me feel good to be Chinese," said Zhou Chao.

"We wanted a panda to light the torch," said American Collin Crowell.

He added: "It definitely met the hype. The show in itself was fun to watch and impressive, but seeing how the Chinese reacted to it was special."

There you have it. International acclaim for Zhang Yimou's extravaganza.

Except, um. The torch was not lit by a panda. Sorry.