In case you were too busy preparing for Lindsay Lohan's birthday and missed out on sports, we've got you covered. Here's what everyone else was talking about last night.
All is not lost
You might want to get a box of tissues before you start reading. Preferably of the red, white and blue variety. I'll wait.
Are you sitting down? So, I hate being the bearer of bad news and all, but if you haven't heard yet, the United States was eliminated from the World Cup on Tuesday by a devastating 2-1 loss to Belgium in the Round of 16. I can hear your sniffles and "BUT I BELIEVED!" mutters from here. After both teams failed to score during regulation, the game headed into extra time, where the Belgians proved to be just too dominant for the Americans. SIGH.
Congratulations USA. Now that you know what it's like to have your soul ripped out by a game of football, you're in the gang.
- Paul Sinha (@paulsinha) July 1, 2014
The day wasn't a total loss for the U.S. team, though. The guys received a smattering of support from some pretty famous fans. So, that's sort of a consolation prize, right?
- The White House (@WhiteHouse) July 1, 2014
Unbelievable game. I'm so proud to be an American! Our guys battled. Thanks #TeamUSA for such a great run
- Drew Brees (@drewbrees) July 1, 2014
The #USMNT played their hearts out. Thank you for making us BELIEVE. We are so proud.
- Sydney Leroux (@sydneyleroux) July 1, 2014
Goalkeeper Tim Howard -- who set a World Cup record with 16 saves during the game -- was given the hero's treatment on the Interwebs by American fans. So much so, the Wikipedia entry for the U.S. Secretary of Defense was changed from Chuck Hagel to Howard briefly after the game.
Best wiki update of the Cup so far, or ever: pic.twitter.com/GehIqfFtc1
- Danielle Elliot (@daniellelliot) July 2, 2014
The entry was quickly fixed but the Twitter tributes continued.
tim howard forever pic.twitter.com/UZwc7bJ7w5
- nick pants (@nick_pants) July 1, 2014
Despite the loss, Tim Howard's record setting performance was monumental. pic.twitter.com/eaqF2Whkxq
- ESPN (@espn) July 1, 2014
Anything and everything Howard was in such demand, even his old -- and eerily accurate -- high school yearbook quote made the viral rounds.
Tim Howard's yearbook quote: "It will take a nation of millions to hold me back." pic.twitter.com/4JFaCOLfN8
- Meredith Frost (@MeredithFrost) July 2, 2014
Guessing he did not think that nation of millions holding him back would be Belgium when he said it.
While millions of Americans mourned the World Cup exit, there were at least two fans watching in the U-S-of-A who were thrilled with the result. Belgian native and retired tennis star Kim Clijsters, whose father was a legendary member of the national soccer team, showed off her painting and sign-making skills in support of her home country.
My artwork!!! �������� pic.twitter.com/IYMebDsH2g
- Kim Clijsters (@Clijsterskim) July 1, 2014
Pop star Rihanna, whose "GO ANY TEAM THAT IS PLAYING THE U.S.!" Twitter antics have become a much-discussed side story of the World Cup, seemed equally thrilled for Belgium. Despite having, you know, no real ties to the European country.
- Rihanna (@rihanna) July 1, 2014
The Barbadian chanteuse did, however, break her "bash the U.S. team every possible chance" streak and sent out a congratulatory tweet to the team that seemed like something a fan might say. You're a strange one, Rihanna.
Great job #USA I'm proud of you boys! You put your heart in it!!!
- Rihanna (@rihanna) July 1, 2014
With Serena Williams looking disoriented and virtually unable to even hit the ball, Serena and sister Venus Williams retired after just three games from their second-round doubles match at Wimbledon on Tuesday.
While speculation quickly swirled about Serena's condition, the sisters and the tournament cited a viral illness. Serena said she was "heartbroken" to not be able to continue and that the "bug" just got the best of her. The statements did little to quiet the discussion, so Serena perhaps felt compelled to prove her sickness and took to Instagram.
A nap, a blanket AND Gatorade? We get it, Serena. You are definitely under the weather.
A leg up on Nadal
Top-ranked Rafael Nadal was stunned by Australian teen Nick Kyrgios 7-6 (5), 5-7, 7-6 (5), 6-3 in the fourth round at Wimbledon. And not only did Kyrgios become the first player outside the Top 100 to defeat a No. 1 at a Grand Slam since 1992, but he did it in style with a between-the-legs winner.
I'm just going to go out on a limb here and say, I think we might be seeing a little more from this kid in the future. Just a hunch.
Kobe Bryant may have missed the majority of the NBA season due to a knee injury, but that setback hasn't stopped his trolling game. The Los Angeles Lakers star took to Twitter on Tuesday to thank/dis the Charlotte Hornets for trading him on NBA draft day 18 years ago. Aww, how sweet of him!
- Kobe Bryant (@kobebryant) July 1, 2014
That Kobe, always so gracious ... and largely inaccurate. But, ehh, details are overrated!
Praise for Carmelo
Some dude named Carmelo Anthony, who is apparently embarking on a cross-country tour to hear people tell him how great he is, stopped in Chicago on Tuesday. Luckily for Anthony, the Bulls seem to really, really think he's great.
Carmelo, in a full Bulls uniform, is on some of the other video boards around the United Center. pic.twitter.com/WeKY3OJWUK
- Nick Friedell (@NickFriedell) July 1, 2014
The United Center has Carmelo Anthony banners and championship titles painted on the outside. pic.twitter.com/iMLDFyDUxT
- NBA Legion (@MySportsLegion) July 1, 2014
The coveted free agent will be taking his talents to Houston AND Dallas today. According to reports, Anthony will be greeted with lifesize cardboards cutouts of himself and various other ego-stroking materials. Not a bad summer vacation plan, 'Melo.
A happy ending
If you're still feeling down over the U.S. World Cup loss or just need a Wednesday pick-me-up, I have something that might cheer you up. On Tuesday, the Internet-famous Miami Marlins kid made his triumphant return to the ballpark with a brand-new dance number. You can thank me later.
See something worthy of inclusion on social media or just want to comment on one of today's stories? Send it my way on Twitter, @darcymaine_espn.