This is the only gift you should consider for the dad in your life this year:
That is the meme-famous Under Armour Curry 2 "Chef" model, list price $119.99.
As I relayed a month ago, this spring marks my 10th anniversary of reaching "Dad" status, an honor that confers upon it a few privileges:
* Projection of my own unfulfilled sports aspirations onto my kids.
* A minimum of 36 hours' delay in being in-the-know on the latest social media memes.
* Puns as a default humor element.
* Intuitively refusing to let my kids order a drink refill at a restaurant until determining whether it's included in the original cost.
* Tucking in my shirt.
* "Mom is busy. Just turn on Netflix."
* Heyyy, those Curry 2s look pretty good!
I can admit this to you, because I have accrued 10 years of #DadLife: When I first saw the Curry 2s -- weeks before they became a best-of-2016 social meme -- I ... didn't dislike them.
I kind of liked them.
I have embraced the Dad Side.
Oh, I can pose as a "Cool Dad" (though, let's face it, that's an oxymoron): I follow a few talented people on Snapchat! I can kind of match my kids as they rap along to the "Hamilton" soundtrack! I already binged the new "Voltron" reboot! I own NBA-themed Stance socks!
But those Curry shoes are no joke -- they're the entirely serious litmus test for whether you've fully committed to your "Dad" status.
Find them totally corny? Congratulations, Cool Dad.
Find them lame, but you'd wear them if someone gave you a pair for free for your weekly Over-40 Dad Basketball League, where your game mostly resembles a Dad version of J.R. Smith? You're in, Sort-Of-Cool Dad.
Find them appealing? Please pass this column along to your family -- the Curry 2s are perfectly (if presumably unintentionally) timed for Father's Day, and they are the easiest Dad gift your family will ever get you.
Display them with gusto, Dad. But, pro tip: The kids aren't paying any attention to you, anyway.
Dad Shanoff -- sorry: Dan Shanoff -- writes about parenting for espnW. You can follow him on Twitter at @danshanoff and continue this conversation at espnW's Facebook page.