April Fools - The best of esports

AD carry Martin "Rekkles" Larsson plays for EU LCS team Fnatic. Riot Games

I'm sure you love April Fools. The hilarity of the pranks. The laughter from the original jokes. It's everyone's favorite holiday in the entire world. It could never get tedious or annoying!

Okay, okay, but even if it isn't your favorite holiday -- I promise I won't tell anyone -- what if these jokes were actually real, as crazy as it may seem? esports is no stranger when it comes to this holiday, so it's my job to try and make sense out of the senseless. I'm taking some of the most gut-busting "news" of the day and figuring out how it'd really play out if it was true on some alternate planet.

Impact Joins Team Liquid; Dyrus Comes out of Retirement to Join NRG Esports

If it were true: If this were true, wow, Team Liquid would be a good team. Impact and Piglet back together, the former in-game brothers from the world championship SK Telecom T1 team? Add the Rookie of the Split Dardoch in the jungle, FeniX in mid and Matt at support, and this team could sweep their way to the champi--

Wait, Dyrus is joining NRG? Game over. NRG esports confirmed for Worlds. Dyrus leads GBM and the rest of NRG to a rousing 3-0 sweep of the ROX Tigers at the 2016 World Championships, and then Dyrus reveals he's actually the one who truly created League of Legends. Then Imagine Dragons plays a 40-minute concert while NRG esports look confused in the background with the Summoner's Cup.

Fnatic go Blue, Green and Purple

If it were true: Fnatic now have really ugly jerseys. The players revolt and stop playing for Fnatic. They all decide to join Xpeke's Origen organization, and Fnatic go out of business a few days later. It then comes out that Ocelote was the one who designed Fnatic's new outfits.

Blizzard announces SC2 Balance Manager 2016

If it were true: Another overly complicated (but brilliantly made) StarCraft 2 game that won't appeal to the masses, and they'll all go play Counter-Strike and League of Legends instead.

Tracer removed from Overwatch; replaced by Team Fortress 2's Scout

If it were true:A lot of people say they're going to boycott the game. The game releases and most of the people still buy the game.

Razer announces they're making a toaster

If it were true: No, seriously, why isn't this a thing? This isn't even weird or funny. I would probably buy a Razer toaster. I'm pretty sure I would have a lot more cool, hip friends if I could invite them over for some extreme gaming, extreme energy drinks and then finish it off with some extreme breakfast for dinner.

EVO announces Smash Bros. Brawl and Ultra Street Fighter 4 for EVO 2016

If it were true: They'd both probably be in the top-five most-viewed games of the tournament and get a lot more viewers than some of the lesser titles at the event. So, uh, yeah!

Astralis eliminates Fnatic from the MLG Columbus Major in the Quarterfinals

If it were true: No, wait, this really did happen. The best CS:GO team in the world taken out in the round of 8. Oh, and Team Liquid, a North American team, is in the semifinals.

This makes a lot less sense than a toaster.