Well, as the British might say, of course Rory McIlroy should be massively embarrassed, dreadfully sorry, terribly humiliated about the extraordinary gaffe he made over the weekend. But look: McIlroy does convey just the right mix of pathos and embarrassment in the miserable-looking Instagram photo he posted of himself on crutches and a walking boot Monday when he broke the bad news himself, don't you think?
As "What were they thinking?" injuries go, McIlroy looks as if he knows that playing soccer with your pals just two weeks before you're scheduled to defend your title at the British Open and try to derail Jordan Spieth's run at golf's Grand Slam will not win you an honorary degree from Oxford.
Just saying ...
But if it's any comfort to McIlroy, he isn't an outlier. There are actually so many examples of dumb sports injuries that it's possible to break them down into various categories of dumb, dumber and dumbest.
Stick to the day job, buddy: Maybe jocks should forget the two-sport ambitions. If McIlroy needs to commiserate during his down time -- an unidentified member of his camp told CNN that McIlroy has only a 10 percent chance of being healthy enough to play the British Open -- he could always call oft-injured NBA center Andrew Bynum, who injured his delicate knees while bowling in 2012, though he hadn't been healthy enough to play or practice with Philadelphia 76ers the previous four months.
But there have been others. Baseball infielder Aaron Boone and oft-injured NFL quarterback Chad Pennington were both badly hurt playing pickup basketball, and NASCAR driver Carl Edwards fractured his right foot (yes, the one he needs to floor the gas pedal!) playing Frisbee. "I know this probably sounds ridiculous ..." he admitted.
Former Montreal Canadiens star Larry Robinson's personal backstory of growing up with a love of horses on an Ontario farm later backfired when he broke a leg playing polo. Robinson's money quote? In a 2001 interview with The New York Times, Robinson conceded riding horses "did not come naturally" to him.
Celebrations gone wrong: This is a very crowded category. Where to start? There was Marlins left fielder Chris Coghlan tearing the meniscus in his knee while slamming a victory pie in the face of teammate Wes Helms in 2010. What about Kendrys Morales breaking his leg the same year after stomping on home plate too hard after hitting a walk-off grand slam, or skier Lindsey Vonn slicing her hand on the broken neck of a magnum of champagne in 2009 after someone tried to dislodge a stuck piece of the cork with ... wait ... a ski? (Don't look at me; that's what the wire story said.)
Back in 1997, quarterback Gus Frerotte had just solidified his hold on the Washington Redskins' starting job when he hurt himself headbutting a wall to celebrate a touchdown run.
Seventeen years later, Stephen Tulloch reminded us that mankind often learns nothing from the past. Tulloch tore his ACL after sacking Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers in Week 3 last season while vigorously mocking the discount double-check celebration that Rodgers made famous in his insurance company commercials.
You pay one way or the other: Cheapskates, beware. A few years ago, Mets slugger Lucas Duda injured his wrist moving furniture in his apartment, which was also how the Sacramento Kings' "Never Nervous" Pervis Ellison broke his big toe in 1989, earning the nickname "Out of Service" Pervis from then-teammate Danny Ainge. Ellison missed 34 games.
In 2002, Aston Villa soccer player Darius Vassell, then 22, gave new meaning to the term mani-pedi. He decided to do a little do-it-yourself repair on his swollen big toe and drilled through the nail, reasoning it might "ease the pressure."
Wrong. He got a nasty infection instead.
Former Mets pitcher Bob Ojeda probably figured he couldn't get into trouble trimming the honeysuckle bushes outside his Port Washington, New York, home in September 1988, with the Mets still in a pennant race. But when Ojeda reached to turn off the power on his hedge clippers, the blades struck a branch and recoiled, nearly severing the upper part of the middle finger on his pitching hand. He missed the rest of the season, but five hours of microsurgery allowed him to resume his career the following year.
The dog ate my alibi: In 2007, Vladimir Radmanovic originally told the Lakers that he separated his shoulder in Park City, Utah, after slipping on some ice while being a nice guy and bringing his friends some coffee. The real story? He was hurt when he went snowboarding for the first time over All-Star Weekend. He was fined $500,000.
Former National League MVP second baseman Jeff Kent -- who was never confused with being one of the most-liked players in baseball -- said he broke a bone in his left wrist while washing his pickup truck in 2002. Many eyewitnesses turned up and disputed that, saying they saw Kent popping some wheelies on his motorcycle and crashing into a roadside patch of grass.
Marlins reliever Dan Miceli had that story beat by a mile. When Miceli reported for spring training in 2000 with five stitches in his pitching hand and two more in his elbow, he told everyone that it happened when he was knifed outside a bar by one of the four drunk "hippie rednecks" he fought because the men had made objectionable remarks to his wife.
A day later, Miceli was forced to admit he picked up the injuries in a fight with his brother, Richard, that police responded to at 4:30 a.m. three days earlier.
"I apologize -- what do you want me to do?" Miceli said once outed. "I was protecting my family's name."
Motivational ploys that should be retired: Last month, Dolphins kicker Caleb Sturgis learned he's out four weeks after sustaining a kickball injury to his non-kicking leg in a recent team-sponsored "chemistry building" event.
When Jack Del Rio was a rookie NFL coach, he had the bright idea of telling his Jacksonville Jaguars team that the only way it would turn the franchise around was to "keep chopping wood" daily to cut the challenge down to size. Then to underscore the point, Del Rio had a tree stump and an ax placed in the team's locker room. And many chops were had by all -- until Pro Bowl punter Chris Hanson axed his right foot and missed a month because of the gash.
Del Rio's response: "I'll find another slogan."
The Milwaukee Brewers may have had the worst don't-try-this-at-home moment. In 1994, knuckleballer Steve Sparks, who was battling for a roster spot, became overly inspired by a motivational seminar set up by the Brewers during spring training. "They were bending iron bars and ripping phonebooks in half," Sparks told Sports Illustrated. So naturally, Sparks and some teammates decided to try it themselves on the Phoenix Yellow Pages.
Sparks' left shoulder gave out, not the phone book. He didn't make his major league debut until a year later.
So McIlroy should relax.
He should be back much faster than that.