By Bob Harig
Special to ESPN Golf Online
Thursday, June 15
Struck by cancer in his prime, never able to regain his previous form, Paul Azinger had come to accept a harsh reality: He would likely never win another golf tournament.
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| Paul Azinger delivered an emotional eulogy at Payne Stewart's memorial service. |
He did not come to the realization quickly or easily, nor did he let anyone in on his revelation.
Azinger continued to play the role of cancer survivor, trying to be an inspiration to others. His 11 PGA Tour victories, including the 1993 PGA Championship, his last, were more and more in the past.
He viewed life differently, making sure he enjoyed time with his wife, Toni, and their two daughters, Josie Lynn and Sarah Jean. He appreciated his forays onto the Manatee River near his Bradenton, Fla., home, where he could experience his true love, saltwater fishing.
But winning another golf tournament? No way.
And yet Azinger started to see progress toward the end of 1999, six years after the cancer diagnosis. His game was finally jelling, so much so that he was excited about playing, disappointed the year was coming to an end.
He even said so to his friend, Payne Stewart, as they played together in the second round of the National Car Rental Golf Classic near Stewart's home in Orlando, Fla.
That, of course, would be Stewart's last round of golf. Three days later, Stewart and five others died when the private plane in which they traveled apparently lost cabin pressure and crashed several hours later in South Dakota.
Azinger heard the news via cellular phone while driving home from Orlando.
He, and the golf world, has not been the same since.
Emotions will no doubt be stirred again as the 100th U.S. Open is set to commence at Pebble Beach Golf Links, where Stewart would have been the defending champion.
His victory last year at Pinehurst No. 2 secured Stewart's place in golf history. A two-time U.S. Open winner, a three-time major champion, Stewart had beaten the best in one of the most stirring finishes in Open history.
He one-putted the last three greens, including a 15-footer for par at the last that was the longest putt on the final hole to win the championship. Stewart was the only player to finish under par for the tournament.
Now he is just the seventh player -- and the first since Ben Hogan in 1949 -- not defending his Open title.
Azinger is still mourning his friend's passing, along with the lost lives of Robert Fraley and Van Ardan, who not only represented Stewart but Azinger as well.
A few days after the accident, Azinger was giving a moving eulogy for his friend, the same friend who spent time with him on his fishing boat between cancer treatments.
Once again, golf seemed inconsequential to Azinger. Last year, he couldn't understand why he was still struggling, playing poorly. Now he had to face the death of three close friends. He questioned his own desire heading into his 18th season.
Then he won in Hawaii, his first tournament of the year. And it was bittersweet.
"I think with all that happened in the offseason, I didn't get the same kind of joy from winning," Azinger said. "There was certainly a great amount of satisfaction. But some of the joy of that was lost. I am still sad. If I were to win (now), I think I'd feel a little bit better because I'm a little further away from the tragedy.
"I would compare it more to the Phoenix Open in 1987, when I won my first-ever tournament. It was more like that again."
After the tournament, Azinger kept a promise to show up for the AT&T Pebble Beach National Pro-Am media day. It was the next morning at Pebble Beach, and Azinger took a red-eye from Hawaii to be there in time. As a way of honoring Stewart, he would fill in for his friend, who also won the Pebble Beach tour stop in 1999.
Ironically, Stewart was also the defending champion at Pebble Beach in 1992 when the U.S. Open was last played there.
"I'm actually looking forward to playing the U.S. Open," Azinger said. "I love Pebble Beach. I'll enjoy the memory of Payne. I'm trying to enjoy the memory of Payne and Van Ardan and Robert Fraley and all the people we lost last year. I miss all those guys a great deal, as do their families. We all miss them.
"But you get to the point where you want to enjoy the memory of those people. I get asked all the time, 'What do you want to be remembered for?' I don't care if I'm remembered for anything, I just want to be missed. I want to live my life so that people miss me."
No defense
Because of Stewart's death, this will be the seventh time a U.S. Open champion will not defend his title. It is the first time since Ben Hogan missed in 1949 after being involved in a serious automobile accident that nearly took his life.
The last player to miss the Open the year after winning before Hogan was Bobby Jones in 1931. Jones retired after winning the Grand Slam in 1930. Others who did not defend were Harry Vardon (1901), Alex Smith (1907), Jerome Travers (1916) and Edward Ray (1921).
You'd better believe
Stewart loved Pebble Beach. A few months before the 1992 U.S. Open, Stewart was at the course for a media day to promote the event. Afterward, he was having a drink at The Lodge, not wearing his trademark outfit, when someone approached and said: "There's a guy over here who says you're Payne Stewart, but I don't believe it."
Said Stewart: "If I go get the U.S. Open trophy, will you keep filling it up with whatever I want to drink?"
"You bet," said the non-believer.
Stewart got the trophy, then turned to the bartender and said, "Cristal champagne, please."
Said Chuck Cook, Stewart's friend and swing instructor who was with him that day. "It may have been the only guy who wishes he never met Payne Stewart."
Bob Harig, who covers golf for the St. Petersburg Times, writes a column every Tuesday for ESPN Golf Online.
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Jeff Sluman has a suggestion for this years U.S. Open winner.