We in the office call Chris Palmer "The Goods," because only he can make the Utah Jazz fun.

Utah is, well, the most boring team in the NBA. The Jazz have run the same plays for the last 25 years. Seriously. Pick and roll this, Stockton and Malone that. But after further review, I found out the Jazz are actually, um, a riot.

Stockton? Yeah, he never shuts up. Not once in the 26 minutes he spent on the pine did his mouth stop moving. "Switch! Drop down! Drop down! Pick it up let's go!" Stockton cried when he noticed a defensive mismatch early in Utah's 89-58 demolition of the Knicks. Part coach, part cheerleader, he sits perched on the edge of his seat with a snake handler's intensity. "That's how I stay involved in the game," he says. "I talk out every situation." Sitting next to Stock, rook DeShawn Stevenson reaps the benefit of his older teammate's endless chatter. "Even when he's talking to himself I learn a ton," says D-Steve.

Further down the the bench, things are a bit looser. Players pass around a Tupperware container full of Jolly Ranchers and chewing gum. When Jerry Sloan calls a player into the game, the entire bench echoes the player's name until he gets up -- just in case he's daydreaming. The Jazz vets are not above tugging the shorts of Chris Childs as he tries to inbound the ball in front of the bench.

Up 34 with eight minutes to go in the fourth, the bench clears. Donyell Marshall finishes a fast break with an emphatic slam, then stumbles to the ground. Olden Polynice and the rest of the bench erupts with laughter. A Knick fan sitting a few feet away seizes the moment: "Hey Polynice, I haven't seen a California State trooper laugh like that in a long time." The fan is referring to Polynice's arrest for impersonating a cop. Polynice, caught off guard, ponders a reply. You know he's about to raise one of his fingers. After a couple of seconds, he gives the fan thumbs up. "Man, I got 57 points on my license for that," he says. "Just terrible."

Guess the guy can put up points after all.

C-Palm writes hoop for ESPN The Magazine. E-mail him at christopher.palmer@espnmag.com.