Stacy Dragila is trying to escape reporters at the Hotel McDonald. So I pull up in my getaway car, and the world pole vaulting champ and her husband Brent hop in.

Destination: West Edmonton, home of the world's largest indoor amusement park in the world's largest mall. Mission: The Mindbender.

"Ready?" she asks me. I'm thinking this plan to ride a 5.2 G-force, triple-loop monster isn't so brilliant after all. But I nod. "Then let's do this!" Okay.

"I love rollercoasters," Stacy says over the car-speaker twang of the Old 97's "Satellite Rides." "My aunt used to take me on the Demon in Santa Clara. That first drop was a killer."

Entering near the casino, we can't get a sense of the gi-normity of the world's largest mall. The professional-sized hockey rink and the replica of the Santa Maria (you know, Columbus' three thousand-hour tour) give us a clue.

So does the pastel candyland of rides. Eggbeaters, tilt-a-whirls and deathdrops as high as the moon lord over the hall, which rattles violently with the thunderous grind of machinery.

Dragila giggles. "That attendant checked your height as you passed the 'You Must Be This Tall' sign." I grimace at her.

"What have we done?" I wail, as we fasten our belts and jetpack-like shoulder restraints.

"Want me to hold your hand?" she teases. Uh, no.

One attendant lopes by, checking the carts. He looks up behind us and nods slightly.

The monster lurches awake.

"AHHHH!" Stacy screams as chains pull us toward the rafters. "Here we GO!"

We creep oh-so-slowly toward what appeared to be the ionosphere. I close my eyes.

"Here it COMES ... "Dragila yells. "Oh NOOOOOO!"

Gravity rages, and the roar is so loud, no one can hear our shrieking. We hit the loops. "OHH! AIEEEEE!" Our heads curl into our laps involuntarily. Our intestines are being yanked out of our throats at the speed of light.

Death by black hole, I think, as we both scream bloody murder. And we love it.

Then we fly past the last corner and into the unloading area.

"Slobber was coming out both sides of my mouth," Stacy says, eyes shining, whirring on adrenaline. "We were going so fast, I didn't think we'd make some of those corners."

"It's twice the ride if you sit backwards," an attendant tells us.

Stacy eyes me and shrugs. "I'll go if you go ... "

Hmm. Off to the go-karts!

E-mail Anne Marie Cruz at anne.marie.cruz@espnmag.com.