What a brunch we had at The Magazine today. Had a special guest in town. Plenty of bagels and cream cheese. Got everyone together in the same room. Spirits were high.

And no one ate a bite.

Mostly, we didn't eat because our guest, Tommy Lasorda, wouldn't let us. He kept us laughing too hard. Too hard to eat.

He was supposed to talk about his new book, Chicken Soup for the Baseball Fan's Soul, which he did. Took about three minutes. The rest was Tommy Unplugged, and we loved it.

Ask Tommy a question, and two things are guaranteed. Three things, really.

First, no matter what the question is, the first thing Tommy says is either "Who?" or "Says who?"

For instance: Magazine reporter John "Kruk" Broder to Lasorda: "Why did you keep pitching to Reggie Jackson in 1977?"

Tommy: "Says who?"

Second, he's a born raconteur. You're guaranteed a story with every question. Nothing is ever yes or no, lucky for us. Instead, it's always, "Who? Oh, well, that reminds me of (insert hilarious story here) ..."

Third, every story has at least three "By gollys" in it.

After we talked baseball (Tommy likes Oakland to win it all), he walked over to our Pole of Fame, beside Anne Marie Cruz's desk. (It's actually one of the columns that holds up the ceiling.) We get every guest to stand against it, and we measure their height. Don't ask why we do this, we just do.

So at the end of the lunch, we said, "Tommy, you've got to stand against the Pole of Fame."

"Who? Well, okay."

After he was measured (he topped out far below Shane Battier), he signed the wall: "Tom Lasorda. HOF 8-3-97"

Someone said, "We've now got a Hall of Famer on the wall."

By golly, we do.