“A Tradition Unlike Any Other.” That’s what CBS has said for years about The Masters. Before I made it down here for the first time, back in 2000, I thought I knew what they were talking about. The azaleas in full bloom. The carpet-like fairways. The lightning-quick greens. Amen Corner. And, of course, the Green Jacket.

But until you’ve experienced The Masters up close, you probably don’t know everything you need to know about the traditions of this golf tournament.

You probably don’t know that if you try to enter the gate with a cup of, say, Dunkin' Donuts coffee, a very polite security guard will pour your Joe into an official Masters cup. See, they don’t want anything that could be considered advertising on display at Augusta.

Along the same lines, if you want a beer, you choose either a “Domestic Beer” or an “Imported Beer.” I think your choices are actually Miller Lite and Heineken, but the Masters does not have an “official beer,” so brand names are not made available. By the way, a 12-ounce domestic goes for the sub-minor league price of $1.75.

If you’re hungry, you have a choice of cold sandwiches. Ham and cheese. Turkey. Roast chicken. Egg salad. And the most popular menu item, the pimento cheese sandwich. None of these sandwiches will cost you more than $2. They all come wrapped in green plastic wrap.

If you’re in the mood for something hot to eat, you’re out of luck. See, they don’t want any outdoor cooking going on at The Masters, because they don’t want the air to smell of grilled food.

Another thing they don’t want at The Masters is litter on the ground. If you happen to drop a napkin, don’t worry. Before you can even bend over to pick it up, a local high school kid dressed in a bright yellow jumpsuit will be poking it with a litter picker.

It really is an unbelievable production.

Of course, the traditions run much deeper than the menu and overall cleanliness of Augusta National. There are things like the interview tree, between the 18th green and the men’s locker room, where players stand in the shade and talk to the media.

There’s the skipping pond at the par-3 16th, where players entertain the crowd during practice rounds by trying to skip shots across the pond and onto the green. Tuesday, I saw Gary Player make the ball skip 11 times before it died a few inches from the end of the pond. And I saw Sergio Garcia make it skip just once, before landing it on the green. Each time a player successfully skips the ball onto the green, the crowd goes wild.

And there’s tradition off the course, as well. Like the ridiculous hotel room prices. I’m staying at a Days Inn, paying $180 and change per night for a room that costs $35 any other week of the year. And I’m convinced I’m staying in a non-non-smoking room. You read right. The stale smoke stench in this room is so strong, I believe it is quite possible that you are not allowed to not smoke in this room. To make sure I wouldn’t get caught, to be safe, I went out and bought a pack of Marlboros.

But you won’t hear me complaining. Thursday morning, I’ll be on the course, watching the world’s greatest golfers playing their hearts out to win a green blazer they would not be caught dead wearing outside the gates of Augusta National.

Because, as they say, it’s a tradition unlike any other.

Jeff Bradley is a senior writer for ESPN The Magazine. E-mail him at jeff.bradley@espnmag.com.