It's always funny to read what Americans have to say about football ... or as you infidels call it ... soccer. You mentioned that MLS was bad in the beginning. I'm sorry, it was abysmal in the beginning and is horrible today. And as far as attacking play is concerned, what would you know about it anyway ... you f-ing yank.

And to that e-mail, I give the following, completely inappropriate response, courtesy of Randy, the Soc with a heart in The Outsiders:

"You can't win. You know that, don't you? It doesn't matter if you whip us, you'll still be where you were before, at the bottom. And we'll still be the lucky ones at the top with all the breaks. It doesn't matter. Greasers will still be greasers and socs will still be socs. It doesn't matter."

And now on to some stuff that does matter.

In Tight Space

In the always fun game of "is it an allocation or a discovery?" the Kansas City Wizards have, according to a source, filed a discovery option on Jamaican striker and former Rochester Rhino Onandi Lowe. The Wizards were very close to using their allocation on Finnish striker Mixu Paatelainen, who currently plays with Hibernian of the Scottish Premier League but decided to go the discovery route -- which could lead to K.C. ultimately dealing its allocation.

Saw on a rival website (nevermind that it's one that likes to dog my stuff) that sometime U.S. International Jovan Kirovski was supposedly headed home from Sporting Lisbon to play in MLS for the New England Revolution. So I sent off a quick e-mail to Jovan, who replied ...

Jeff..... I am still under contract here at Sporting Lisbon for another 2 years. That's news to me. I don't know anything about that. If there is anything happening in the future I will let you know. Thanks for the inquiry ... Take care ... Jovan

Now, don't get me wrong, this does not rule out the possibility that Jovan could once again be moving on to another address, but he doesn't sound like a guy who's got his bags packed for MLS just yet.

New England and Columbus are talking about a Jeff Cunningham-for-John Harkes deal that would also see the Revs offloading Brian Dunseth to Tampa Bay for a pick. Crew players have grown increasingly frustrated with the talented but enigmatic Cunningham, who seems to think that his teammates make runs solely for him to utilize them as decoys before going off on a solo dribbling excursion. The hang-up in the deal could be in Columbus, where Tom Fitzgerald has to decide whether Harkes has anything left to offer his club, and at what position. With Ian Woan now in the fold in Columbus, Fitzgerald may be thinking that a couple of English League vets could completely change the personality of his team.

A source in Tampa said that left midfielder Eric Quill stormed off the practice field this week and is now likely to be traded. The Mutiny's waiver acquisition of Brian Kelly seems to be an indication that they wouldn't mind changing things up a little on the left side. Colorado coach Tim Hankinson is a mentor to Quill, but he has a similar left midfielder in Jason Moore already on his roster.

New England has also placed calls to the four teams that own allocations, San Jose, Kansas City, Chicago and Colorado, which means the Revs must have a young, foreign player on their radar screen. For what it's worth, as bleak as things look in Foxboro, the Revs having to play five of their first six on the road was cruel. Coach Fernando Clavijo should not be judged until the schedule evens out a little.

Dallas continues to look for a right flank player and a defender and is using former Indiana players Lazo Alavanja and Aleksey Korol as bait. Problem is, good flank players are scarce in MLS and those teams that have them are not willing to part with them. And when Dallas comes calling about a trade, most MLS teams only want to talk to them about roster-exempt youngsters like Joselito Vaca and Eddie Johnson. Also, Dallas and Tampa Bay have both filed discovery claims on Charleston Battery defender Scott Cannon ... stay tuned to learn who got to the fax quicker.

While there's all kinds of buzz about just who the Galaxy will be able to add before they embark on the World Club Championships, a member of the L.A. brass told me the only thing the club is looking to do in the immediate future is get Brent Rahim, and maybe Robert Russell, signed. And, for what it's worth, an L.A. source said Kirovski was not in their plans, either.

Pub Talk

· Watched the WUSA game between Washington and San Diego and was very impressed by the atmosphere in San Diego and the way a crowd of 7,000 in a small stadium translated on television -- especially with the packed stands behind one goal. Personally, I don't think MLS teams, especially teams in smaller markets, should be embarrassed to play games in places like this. I'll take a couple thousand fans turned away over tens of thousands of empty seats any day.

· If the MLS executives want to scribble down a note to the players that goes something like this -- "If you drop the lawsuit, we'll give you some rights of free agency as part of a Collective Bargaining Agreement" -- I'll be glad to deliver it to the players. Fact is, the players don't trust the owners will give them anything, so they hold onto the appeal because, as one player told me, "It's the only thing we've got to stand on. We give it up and they hold all the cards."

· A lot of feedback on my statement last week that Tampa's skin-tight aqua uniforms are the "worst-ever in MLS" and some of you make excellent points (most about everything but the DC-United unis in '96). But the real point is this: If you are the investor of a team in MLS, do you want a good-looking shirt or not? If you do, there is absolutely no way your team is wearing what Tampa is wearing this year.

· My friend summed up the evolution of white soccer shoes very succinctly last week. He said, "In the beginning, only geeks wore white soccer shoes ... then certain stars wore them ... now, for Pete's sake, Steve Jolley is wearing white shoes? Enough is enough." I could not agree more. Commissioner Garber, ban the white shoes. I mean, say what you will about the 80's, but that was a black-shoe-decade. I'm proud of that.

· Sad to report that a once-great alternative rock station, WHTG in Eatontown, N.J., has gone mainstream; its programming is complete with echo-box DJs, "Thirty minutes of commercial-free rock and roll!" and classic hits like Hall and Oates' "Man Eater."

· Finally, I'm a purist for the most part, but a former colleague of mine once suggested something for soccer that I would not be opposed to seeing in MLS. Three points for a win. One point for a tie, unless that tie happens to be a 0-0 tie. In the event of a scoreless games, both teams get zero, in other words, it's the same as a loss.

Think about that one.

Jeff Bradley is a senior writer for ESPN The Magazine. E-mail jeff.bradley@espnmag.com.