NEW YORK -- Wanna hear an appallingly dumb question? Better yet, wanna marvel at one reporter's eternal moronicism? Here's the story: The Clippers take Tyson Chandler with the No. 2 overall pick Wednesday night, and Tyson, an L.A. native, has this big, fat smile on his face all night long -- as he shakes the commish's hand, as he does the mind-dumbing Sager chat, even as he moves on to the mass-interview room. Seriously this is one happy dude.

Enter columnist with the six-week gig and increasingly appalled reader base.

"So, Tyson," I pipe up, most enthusiastically. "Is it cool to be a Clipper now?"

Tyson grins at me -- as if I've just asked Charles Barkley, You want fries with that? -- and answers, as nicely as he can: "Yes, it's cool to be a Clipper."

Message: Like, duh, are you just catching on? Point taken: The Clippers have been pretty darn cool ever since they drafted Lamar Odom two years ago. And way cool since they passed on ho-hum college forward Marcus Fizer to take swanky whiz kid Darius Miles last year. And off-the-charts, Madonna-taking-a-bubble-bath cool when they assembled Quentin Richardson, Keyon Dooling and Corey Maggette in one night, and went on to win more than 30 games last season. Cool, cool, cool.

No wonder, then, that when the Clips shipped Chandler off to the Bulls for Elton Brand an hour later, the kid was terribly stunned. And his mom was crying. Tyson wanted to be "one of them" so badly. "I was shocked," said Tyson afterwards. "I was set back. I had to sit back in my chair, like, 'Are you serious?' "

Yes, it's cool to be a Clipper.

Cooler, even, than being a Laker.

Ooo, wait. It's not THAT cool. Not quite yet. We are, after all, talking about a franchise owned by the totally inept Donald Sterling, a franchise that will probably never quite shake the Benoit Benjamin and Bo Kimble stigma, a franchise whose coolest player predating Odom was Danny Manning, who wasn't cool at all. And, um, they haven't won a playoff series since, let's see ... geez, I don't think there's a correct answer to that one.

But the Clips are close, ever-so-close -- closer that you think-to being Kobe-Kool in the very near future, especially with the deal they pulled off last night. No, trading off the high school phenom for the veteran forward wasn't exactly a slick-cool move, but it was a sensible-cool move, a Janet Jackson-all-grown-up cool move, a move that gives them just about the last piece they need to create The Next Great Dynasty.

Here's what I'm talking about: At the 5, Olowokandi: Not a player becoming of the No. 1 overall draft pick three years ago, true, but a perfectly acceptable second-tier center. At the 4, Brand, who gives the Clips the glass-crashing, low-post-diving, All-Star-type power forward they desperately needed. At the 3, Odom, The Franchise, who after just two years is nearly as good as Scottie Pippen was at his peak. At the 2, DMiles, the game's best 19-year-old (much like KG and Kobe and McGrady were before him.) At the 1, Avery-Johnson-caliber (good enough to win a ring) Jeff McInnis, and the league's most athletic point, Keyon Dooling. Bench: Quentin Richardson and Corey Maggette to fill it on the wings, and Sean Rooks to help hack Shaq up front.

Here's what I'm predicting: 45 W's this year. 55 next year. Ring-ring in 3 to 5. And no more appallingly dumb questions from morons like me.

Except this last one:

The Clippers? The L.A. Clippers? Really?

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Mailbag: On behalf of the Moron ...

My in-box wasn't nearly as full with vitriol as last week, and I think I know why. I made fun of old people and Don McLean fans, and old people and Don McLean fans don't surf the web, nor do they e-mail. They drool. (I'm not sure Clippers fans, by definition, are any wiser to the ways of this Internet thing, but we'll see.)

"I'm so damn sick of hearing my father complain, 'There'll never be another one like Wilt.' I've often wondered how such a statement could be made with Shaq on the court in his prime. P.S. Excellent take on American Pie, a sappy, manipulative piece of crap."
-- Marty Wentzel

I love Madonna, and if she can't do anything to make American Pie palatable, then that song will never be palatable. Not even in an ironic, kitschy way.

"Jason Williams may be the best player in college basketball, but Duhon second? Jones third? You're pushing it a little."
-- Wahoofan

Duuuuuude, I saw both Duhon and Jones ball at the USA Basketball Team Trials in June, and they were Battlestar Galactica stellar (more stellar, even, than Troy Bell and Frank Williams). I tremble in fear thinking how good the Evil Empire is gonna be this year.

"Some people want everything to stay the same, and usually those kinds of people are boring and you wouldn't want to hang out with them anyway."
-- Joe Kilpatrick

Said Ludwig von Mises, the second-greatest Ludwig von of all-time: "It has always been the task of the new generation to provoke changes." Right on, bro.

"Pot-shots at the MLS ... that's something an old fart would write ... and so ... easy ... you should be ashamed."
-- Jeff Bradley, ESPN The Magazine

I don't shame that easy, Jeffrey, but you're right, it was a cheap shot, and I'll spare the MLS from further hits. (While I'm at it, I also owe a partial apology to Don Baylor, whose fine work handling the Cubs' pitching staff cannot be ignored.)

"For the man who decided to correct you on Matt Karchner ... who cares? Either way, he still sucks, and the White Sox still have Jon Garland.
-- Mike Dvorak

Speaking of dumb moves, are the Cubs seriously considering signing Gerald Williams, an out-machine whose lone advantage over the man he would replace in CF Gary Matthews Jr.consists of eight more candles on the birthday cake? Sigh.

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The Summer Replacement is a senior reporter for ESPN The Magazine -- for the time being. E-mail your suggestions and scorn to scott.burton@espnmag.com.