I flew home from the NFL rookie combine sitting next to Carolina Panthers president Mark Richardson. I knew it was Mark Richardson, in part, because he had on a big, bulky black Panthers jacket, a shiny, puffy white Panthers sweatshirt, a Panthers briefcase and, I’m not 100% sure, but I think he was also wearing Panthers socks. I introduced myself and we exchanged pleasantries. We talked about our families, the Hornets and the city’s massively messed up schools.

But even though the Panthers have the No. 2 pick in this year's draft, we spoke very little about football. I mean, why be so predictable? Besides, after whoring myself around at the combine (where they make you tramp around in the hallways of the Indy convention center waiting for coaches or players to stop and chat) I had a full notebook and was somewhat tired of the talk.

One of the funniest moments of the combine, though, was when a defensive back described how he had stopped by the Panthers office and knocked and knocked and knocked, but no one was home. I’ll say. Don’t think this time of year is important? Well, one reason Carolina is one of the worst teams in NFL history is that only two of the Panthers' nine former No. 1 picks are still on their roster. And draft picks are so vital to success in the NFL that teams feel the need to conduct what has become the Super Bowl of subterfuge.

The Panthers seem primed to take Tar Heel D-line destroyer Julius Peppers? Uh huh. But they have so many holes, and such a terrible history in the first round, that if they can trade down, snag more players and spread out their liabilities, of course they’ll consider it. The truth is, I could have blitzed Richardson with questions but the Panthers are like most other teams -- they have an idea, sure, but they won’t know what they’re going to do until that clock starts ticking. (Although after we landed Richardson turned to me and said, "I look forward to reading your column and finding out how wrong we were with our picks.")

You think the Texans are set on QB David Carr? Set like, say, the Chargers were on Michael Vick last year?

Or how about Detroit? A year ago the Lions said QB Mike McMahon was no more than a fifth-round pick. Between then and now he completed 53 passes in the NFL. Now they say he’s locked in as the starter and they’re not interested in what’s-his-name, cool-cat Oregon QB Joey Harrington?

Sure fellas. Wanna play poker sometime?

This time of year the NFL is like the 8th grade -- the bigger the crush teams have on players, the more they tend to ignore them. I swear, if Jim Brown was 21 again and in the draft, unnamed sources with the Texans would be saying, ‘Yeah he’s okay … don’t tell anyone, but have you seen that 5’9", 145-pound kid from Wichita State?’

The fibbing, the flubbing -- the, uh, Arthur Andersen-ing of the NFL, if you will -- isn’t isolated to just the teams. With millions at stake agents encourage players -- gasp! -- to downplay poor times and undesirable stats. When asked about his weight, Harrington said 215, then added quickly with a laugh, "But I had a light breakfast this morning."

For instance:

Me to a wide receiver prospect from the Big Ten: "How tall are you?"

Wide receiver prospect from the Big Ten: "I’m not sure."

Me: "Not sure?"

WR: "6’2"."

Me: "6’2"?"

WR: "6’3"?"

Me: "You just grew an inch?"

WR: "No, no. 6’3" … yeah … 6’3" … 6’2" or 6’3"."

Me: "I’ll just put, 'fluctuates.' Okay, what was your 40 time?"

WR: "I’ve never run it."

Me: "The 40? You’ve never run the 40? Dude, come on."

WR: "I was out that day when they timed us at school."

Me: "Did the dog eat your homework, too? You’re not serious? Come on, what was your time?"

WR: "I haven’t run it yet."

Me: "Okay, I’ll just put 'fluctuates' for that one too."

Even the players eventually tire of the deception. "It seems like everyone I talk to says, ‘Well, hey, we have the third pick or the eighth pick’," says Harrington. "And I just want to say, ‘Well, congratulations, but how does that apply to me?’" When the Lions were brought up at the combine Harrington shot back, "Do you know something?"

Most of the time, the perjury isn’t purposeful. Like most teams, the Steelers like to have 5-6 players ready to choose from in any round. On top of that, no one knows what trades or deals or free-agent acquisitions will go down at the 11th hour and change a team’s draft board.

Also, the Steelers are picking 30th. "So how can I sit here and predict for you what 29 other teams are going to do before we’re on the clock?" says coach Bill Cowher. "The draft is like game day on a 3rd-and-5. You have a lot of plays you can choose from. You go with your gut, pick and play and hope it works."

A short while later I concluded my interview with Cowher. "Okay coach, thanks for your time," I said. "Now, if you’ll do me one small favor before you go." (Boy, I sure do love quoting myself, don’t I? "Yes," I replied, "I sure do.")

"Sure," said Cowher.

"Please take my notepad and jot down for me each player you are going to draft in two weeks."

Pause. Gulp. Smile. Recognition of sarcasm. Laughter.

"Sure Dave," he chuckled. "Let me get back to you on that one."

David Fleming is a senior writer for ESPN The Magazine. E-mail him at flemfile@aol.com.