I think the reason I've been seeing blue spots and humming the theme from Three's Company since Sunday morning has something to do with this week's WHYLO runner-up. It goes to the waitress at a St. Louis chain restaurant (rhymes with Benny's) who served me four slices of what I thought was bacon. I already know what you're thinking -- What's a big-time Internet celeb like you doing in a place like that? and/or No one forced that voodoo bacon down your throat! -- and I totally agree.

Okay! Now that I -- guuuurp -- got that out of the way, onto this week's WHYLO. We find our winner in section 220 of Three Rivers Stadium. Chris' email wasn't all that bad, really, but I must make an example out of him. (In other words, Chris, this is going to hurt me a lot more than it's going to hurt you.) Two weeks ago, we learned insulting my mom will earn you instant WHYLO status. To that list I'd like to add superfluous profanity. Here's a simple guideline for future reference:

NON-WHYLO USE OF PROFANITY: "That was one f---ing great column, Flem."

WHYLO PROFANITY: "That's the biggest load of s--- I've ever read. Very entertaining, yes, but you're full of s---. Do you think before you write your articles?"

No one gets a WHYLO for vehemently disagreeing with me. In fact, I encourage that. But your responses should be something you'd be comfortable saying to me in person. If not, you will share Chris' fate ... as ... the ... WHYLO OF THE WEEK. All together now: "Who Helped You Log On?"

The rest of the mailbag consisted of some very nice notes from fans of Three Rivers. Most of them shared my trepidation about the Steelers gutting the heart of their franchise right along with the park. Others just wanted to share memories.

Jason remembered fondly how Greg Lloyd dropped the "F" bomb on NBC after winning the AFC championship game.

Nathan wrote, "Awesome article about Three Rivers Stadium. I never e-mail magazine writers, because I don't think I'll ever get a response. However, in this instance I just wanted to tell you I think you hit this nail right on the head. We have become 'Stadium sluts'. Thanks for your perspective, and LET'S GO STEELERS!"

Mike wrote, "The stadium was no more the soul of the team or the city than the crappy cold SuperDogs they sold for $2.50 each. It was the spirit of the fans and the appreciation for rough football that gave the team its character.Those qualities carry from stadium to stadium, whether it's to their new one, or to Riverfront, or to the Mistake on the Lake in Cleveland. The Steelers will be just as rugged in their new digs." Mike: not if the examples in Cleveland and Cincinnati are any indication of what happens when you bulldoze old stadiums.

Dave wrote, "The first Christmas tree ornament I ever bought with my wife was a replica of Three Rivers (much to her dismay). It's funny. All these years later, it is the first ornament we put on the tree. As you describe yourself standing on the Steelers logo at midfield, I could not help but imagine that was me standing there."

Kurt wrote, "I've been a life-long Vikings fan, but I couldn't help be a little bit touched by your article on Three Rivers Stadium. Great piece, and the last two paragraphs about standing on the Steelers emblem and the lone fan yelling out 'Let's Go Steelers!' painted a vivid picture for me. Thanks for the story."

Wrote Maribel, "Thanks again for sharing your story because I feel you said good-bye to Three Rivers for a lot of people like myself who can not be there one last time."

And finally, my two favorite e-mails of the week came from Matt and Mike. (Perhaps we need to come up with an anti-WHYLO award?) Matt wrote, "Isn't it poetic that the final game ever played in Three Rivers is against the poster boy for NFL greed, Dan Snyder? There it sits -- 30 years of tradition, blue-collar toughness, and four Super Bowls -- invaded by Danny Boy's mercenary squad of salary cap rejects. I hope the scent of what professional football is supposed to be chokes him."

Mike has my sense of humor. He sent a buddy of his a Patriots jersey with Ryan Leaf's name on the back. He also sent in a line I soon hope to hear ringing in stadiums across the country: "Hey Flem. All your idiots and WHYLO's are funny, but we want more Flem!"

David Fleming, a senior writer for The Magazine, shares his off-center perspective each week. E-mail flemfile@aol.com.