It seems my cyber comeback, which has now lasted three weeks longer than predicted, has spurred readers to investigate my background a bit. 'Cause most of the mail this week, including the WHYLO, is from people who have gone back and cyber-trolled up old columns from the past.

Let's dispense with the WHYLO first.

Second runner up was someone named Stutz who sent this gem in: "Could you tell me if there is any truth to the rumor that the Northstars were moved to Dallas because someone in the organization was boinking the owner's daughter?"

No, in fact, they moved the franchise to get away from you.

First runner-up is my sister-in-law, Kristen, a freshman at Miami University and about the coolest person you'd ever meet. Or so I thought. My world was shattered when I found out that Wooty (that's her nickname) didn't know who the lead singer of U2 was. Man, what the hell is the world coming to?

Concerning an old column where I drove my Honda Civic around the race track in Charlotte, Victoria wrote, "The only reason why I read your article is because I thought that it would have something to do with the title, SpeedRacer, the 60's cartoon show. I didn't appreciate your title giving the impression that it actually had something to do with SpeedRacer. So for future references please leave SpeedRacer out of your article title so that you will prevent misleading the reader of the article."

The best part of emails like this: I don't have to waste any time with an explanation why Victoria is the WHYLO of the WEEK. O.K. to the tune of Go, SpeedRacer, Go! we ask Victoria, Who Helped You Log On?

From the mailbag, Ethan wrote, "Oh by the way, your column you wrote a couple of years ago concerning your attempt to run a 5 flat 40 yard dash is one of, if not the greatest sports column ever written. I still laugh when I think of that neighbor girl running it barefoot. I'm laughing right now. Ethan."

Ethan, I am currently in training (I have cut back to three Pop Tarts a day) and when the NFL combine rolls around I will attempt the 40 again, I promise.

Trying to score brownie points, Jason wrote, "I DO NOT LIKE PRO WRESTLING. That said, I'm glad you're back. You are one of the few writers out there who can really see and convey how sports can really affect our lives. Your Ricky Williams piece is among my all time favorites. Plus, you're f---in' funny. (correct usage?) Thank you, your column is a bright spot in my week. Jason."

Yes, Jason, correct usage.

Jockstrap backlash included this from Todd: "I got a big kick out of your latest Flem File. I, like you, have not purchased a jock strap for awhile, but I had to go by some for my 12-year-old son for basketball a few months ago. Because it was for him the box was labled small. But I also got a look for Mr. Pimple-faced-double-earring-tattoo-boy behind the counter -- it was a 'Yeah, I bet they are for your son' look. I once again felt like a doofus."

And finally, because we always make room for nice emails, this from ERW -- which I think means Newark Airport -- is a big fan of the Flem File. "I just finished reading your story, 'Jock Strapped.' Normally, I skip the editorials and head for last night's scores on the ESPN site. But your story had me laughing ridiculously this morning. How can someone have a tale to tell about Jock Straps? That's funny! Keep it up."

He meant the funny columns, you sickos.

David Fleming, a senior writer for The Magazine, shares his off-center perspective each week. E-mail flemfile@aol.com.