ESPNMAG.com - What's the deal with all these lists, anyway?

One of America's most venerable institutions has performed a great civic duty during this time of national crisis. Thanks to The Sporting News, we now have endless fodder for utterly meaningless arguments -- which, come to think of it, is a certain specialty of this particular corner of the cyber-ether.

The Sporting News' list of the 100 most powerful people in sports came out this week, and get this: Olympic wrestler Rulon Gardner (No. 80) is ahead of Shaquille O'Neal (No. 90).

Rulon Gardner. Good story. Nice guy, apparently. A two-week story, tops.

And not only that, but the record promoter that brought us "Who Let the Dogs Out?" is on the list and Lance Armstrong isn't. Setting aside the obvious -- that the person at least partially responsible for "Who Let the Dogs Out?" should be incarcerated rather than honored, as TSN admits -- how can Lance be ignored?

No Lance, but the president of the WNBA?

And how can Bud Selig come in at No. 8 when everything he stands for and rails about continuously falls on absolutely stone deaf ears? The people he works for don't even listen to him. His entire platform gets tossed back into his face every offseason; that's how powerful he is.

The executive director of the Women's Sports Foundation comes in at No. 95, but there's no Venus, Serena or Richard Williams.

It's surprising to see they left Dan Issel off the list. Issel, P.J. Carlesimo and Norv Turner must have finished 101, 102 and 103.

This Week's List

Shy yet sensitive: Raef LaFrentz.

Kind of like your dad hitching up his pants and saying, "Ain't that groovy?": Bill Raftery, still "going to the tin."

In a way, it's sort of like the Cold War -- consistent, predictable, easy to tell the good guys from the bad: Refreshing to see all those new names -- Connecticut, Tennessee, Georgia -- on top of the women's college basketball poll.

There's one Super Bowl halftime show we'll never have to worry about again: "Up With People" called it quits this week.

However: "Down with Folks" still going strong in several unincorporated areas of Montana, Idaho and Wyoming.

Watching the Rams go up and down the field against the Vikings brought one thought: They're still the only team that can do that.

Given the smoothness of the operation and all the top-flight academic institutions that eventually became involved, it's a total shock that something untoward entered the process: The recruiting of Lamar Odom brings down the UNLV basketball program.

If anyone ever asks you for a definition of cruel and unusual punishment, here's one: The Chargers decided not to release Mike Riley from his contract, but they might fire him anyway.

Of course, there is one way Riley could earn himself some wiggle room: Ryan Leaf, quarterback coach, USC.

As every new grad knows, the hard part is getting the resume together and pounding the payment for a decent job: Shaq graduated from LSU this week.

Which, by the way, brings up a completely uncynical observation: The way guys like Shaq, Vince Carter and Jerry Stackhouse have gone back to school to get their degrees is a very cool development.

And $87,980 every time he watches some poor clubhouse attendant tie his shoes: Enough already with the parsing, cutting and dividing up of Alex Rodriguez's salary into the tiniest shreds of baseball functions.

Besides, if you really want to get your shorts in a bunch, the problem isn't the A-Rods of the world, it's the D-Dreis: Darren Dreifort parlayed a 12-9 year -- 39-45 career -- into five years and $55 million.

Oh, but don't forget the overriding message of the A-Rod signing: Wanting only to play for a winner, he signed with a last-place team.

Sneak preview of Rangers '01: Tied at 8 heading to the fourth.

Prediction: Dustin Hermanson will win more games for the Cardinals than Mike Hampton will for the Rockies.

Remember the time Mom stood up from the dinner table and screamed, "For the love of Jeb, do something normal!": Who would have thought that spending a life studying something as arcane as Florida election law could pay off with so much television face time?

Next month: Women of the Supreme Court.

To put this horrible trend to good use, we hereby propose a weekly Friday night smoker against the cast of Friends: Women's boxing.

Then again: Oscar de la Hoya, singer.

And finally, for years researchers have sought a solution to overpopulation while the answer was right under their noses: A national survey indicates a sharp rise in the use of anabolic steroids among 10th graders.

Tim Keown is a senior writer for ESPN The Magazine. E-mail tim.keown@espnmag.com.