Dave Kopay, a nine-year NFL veteran, publicly acknowledged his homosexuality in 1975, only six years after a riot outside an illegal gay bar in New York City spelled the beginning of the modern gay rights movement. Kopay came out at a time when almost no one in American public life had the courage to do so. At 60, Kopay has long been the most visible gay former NFL player. We asked him to reflect on the significance of Esera Tuaolo's announcement, and the impact it may or may not have on the NFL.

	Kopay is considered a pioneer for his book depicting his life as a gay football player.

I met Esera Tuaolo for the first time two weeks ago. He came to my house in the Larchmont Village area of L.A., and we went to dinner. It's a moment I'll never forget, seeing this big, square guy in my doorway. We looked at each other and he grasped my hand. Soon we were hugging and I was holding him and we were crying together. I could hardly get my arms around him, but I was trying, and I wasn't gonna let go. It was like meeting a long-lost brother.

A friend of mine got closer to the truth. "Dave, you're feeling like his father," he said. And that's what it's like. I have a life, great friends, but I feel even closer to Esera because of the past we share, our memories in football.

We know what each other has been through, and we've been sharing a lot with each other. For me, there's anxiety in knowing what he has to deal with now. That's been kind of scary for me. Some of this can really bring up painful memories and it almost puts you back in that place. There are going to be some really nasty comments. But to this point, he tells me he's finding the acceptance has been overwhelming. That's what I found too, back when I first came out. The hard part came later.

Times are so different now -- in society, I mean. When Esera talks about his partner as his husband, I kind of laugh. That's not something I ever felt comfortable with. I mean, I love it. He's totally comfortable in his own skin, in being who he is, and that's why he's doing this. I kept flashing back into my time. Many times over the years, my notoriety, my being the one gay ex-football player, would always get in the way of a deeper love relationship. It seemed like people weren't ready to be outed by me, by being my friend. And now Esera has a partner and a life. It's just beautiful.

Esera tells me my book was a major influence on him, and of that I feel extremely proud. That first time we met, he said he felt like he'd known me his whole life. He told me he was given my book by the owner of a gay bar in Honolulu. Up until that time, he never really thought he could be happy. But reading about my experiences, it changed him. He thought about who he was, and he decided he could be open, and he would make himself happy. He started to do a lot less drinking. It's changed his life. That's quite a thing to hear.

When he talks about the book it makes me think of Jerry Smith, the former Redskins tight end who was the love of my life. Esera can relate to what we went through together. Jerry was never open, and he died of AIDS in the mid-1980s. It is just really emotional for me right now, thinking back to that, to the life we never had.

So is the NFL ready for an active player to be openly gay? I tell you, it's probably the only place in society that may not be. It'll happen first in another sport. The football world is way behind. I think there ought to be an educational program set up by the NCAA, to talk to the players about gay issues. I think it needs to happen. I'm interested in helping with it. It may save someone's life.

The business world is clearly ready for a gay man or woman to be out and have the same benefits as anyone else. But with the NFL pension plan, if anything happened to Esera, his partner would get nothing. Maybe someday the NFL will get that straightened out. I tried to bring it up a few years ago and I will try again. Most Fortune 500 companies have done it. Why not the NFL?

How about some of the comments by current and former players? What a fool Jeremy Shockey made of himself! Why in the world is he so worried about someone looking at him with his clothes off? Has it crossed his mind that maybe we don't even want to look at his fat ass? No one is coming on to anyone else in an NFL locker room. It's absolute nonsense. Gay men feel more uncomfortable in the locker room than straight guys do. It's an uncomfortable place to be if you're gay, mainly because of the horrible comments you hear. (You know what? In my experience the people making the comments are the ones most confused by their sexuality. I know, because I was one of them.).

A friend recently faxed me a quotation from Gandhi:

"It is the action, not the fruit of the action, that is important. You have to do the right thing. It might not be in your power, it might not be in your time that there will be any fruit. But that doesn't mean you stop doing the right thing. You might never know what kind of results come from your action. But if you do nothing there will be no results."

I certainly didn't know when I spoke out 27 years ago that what I was doing would have an impact in 2002, but I'm glad it has. And Esera may not know yet what he's done, but it will do a world of good for those who will come after. I'm so proud of him, and of his partner standing by him. This word, love, there's no gender to it. You love who you love. It's as simple as that.