Welcome to Volume VII of The Bilas Index. The writer of this magnificent catalog of basketball wisdom so pretentiously and self-importantly refers to himself in the third person, and this magnificent catalog of basketball wisdom registers its historical significance through Roman numerals, a practice so ostentatious that even the Super Bowl stopped doing it.
The Bilas Index is the finest, most fundamental branch of basketball understanding ever envisaged, and it explains the utterly inexplicable to the unwashed masses in a form they can digest. While others have tried to make sense of the universe of college basketball and the inner workings of it, The Bilastrator has profoundly reconceived all prior theories and knowledge to explain all physical and metaphysical phenomena on the hardwood or affecting it. With his endless basketball knowledge and superior brain, The Bilastrator provides you with The Bilas Index, which keeps you from wandering in the wilderness, flailing about at your bracket and wondering whether your team is in or out.
Although the wholly uneducated rationalize and feign competence by repeating the word "parity" to validate being paid to watch games played by the unpaid to generate billions of dollars, you have all the answers supplied to you in Volume VII of The Bilas Index, the unsurpassed and most thorough anthology of basketball intelligence of all time. As always, you're welcome.