How The Bilastrator would rule as college hoops commissioner

One of my bosses recently asked what The Bilastrator would do were he to be anointed the "all-powerful" commissioner of college basketball. Clearly, to be seated in such a position in the game is unlikely for The Bilastrator, as it is beneath him and comes with a serious pay cut. After all, The Bilastrator's ego dwarfs that of Zlatan Ibrahimovic -- and for damn good reason.

Still, there is merit in the thought that The Bilastrator can solve the relative few problems that plague college basketball and accentuate the positives, which are overwhelming. In fact, the solving of all problems and the elevation of the game to never before seen heights require no heavy lifting by The Bilastrator, nor do they require a title coming with a coronation that would make the House of Windsor blush. The Bilastrator can accomplish it all with a single article that can be used as a road map by any person assuming the chair that should rightfully be The Bilastrator's, save for it being too easy of a challenge for him.