Are we living in Bizzaro World?

No, really ... Are we living in Bizzaro World?

That was the first question that came to mind when I read that the Chicago Cubs, in the thick of an actual pennant race, actually wanted Tony Womack.

As a Royals fan, I find it incredibly frustrating that the Royals keep running Ken Harvey out there nearly every day, despite any evidence that he can actually hit right-handed pitching even with a paddle. But at least the Royals didn't actually go out and get Harvey; they already had him, which can often lead to a sort of natural, if still unhealthy, affection.

	In joining the Cubs, Tony Womack is now playing for his third team this season.

But why on earth would anybody have, at this point, a natural affection for Tony Womack? Don't get me wrong. I admire Womack's efforts to promote literacy, through his "Tony Womack's Cover-to-Cover Reading Competition." He seems like a nice man and I wish nothing but the best for him.

But I also wish the best for the Cubs and their fans, and acquiring Tony Womack is less than best. In our Bizzaro World, Womack is promoting third place for the Cubbies in "Tony Womack's Home-to-Dugout Out-Making Competition."

Mind you, the Cubs already had a capable second baseman in Ramon Martinez. No, Martinez isn't the second coming of Rogers Hornsby, or even Mark Grudzielanek. But from what I can tell, Martinez is a hell of a lot better than Womack. Here are Martinez's career stats next to Womack's:

          Age   OBP   Slug
Martinez   30  .336   .400
Womack     33  .316   .359

This season, Martinez is at .340 and .394, almost dead on his career numbers. Meanwhile, Womack's at .252 and .305. So the best you can say about Womack is that he's probably not as bad as he's played, and of course there's the fact that he's quite a bit quicker than Martinez ... but he's still not as good. Womack is old and he's getting older by the day.

Then again, in Bizzaro World maybe it's being old that makes the Cubs want him. Why play a utility man like Martinez -- granted, he is 30 years old -- when you can have a Proven Veteran (with Speed!) like Tony Womack? In the real world, all Womack has proven (or proved, if you're preferrin') in recent seasons is that he should be a Utility Man.

In Bizzaro World, it seems that "Proven" refers to having proven that you can't play. In Bizzaro World, you send this guy

Age   OBP  Slug
 24  .354  .431

to the Hawkeye State so you can play this guy

Age   OBP  Slug
 28  .305  .415

	Tony Womack Second baseman Chicago Cubs Profile
	2003 SEASON STATISTICS AB R RBI SB OBP AVG 298 39 20 11 .252 .225

Period (in case anybody's offended by the lack of punctuation at the conclusion of that Bizzaro sentence).

Technically, the 24-year-old (Hee Seop Choi) was sent to Triple-A Iowa not to make room for the 28-year-old (Randall Simon), but rather to make room for a 35-year-old (Tom Goodwin) who gives the Cubs three center fielders with zero power.

Which makes sense. In Bizzaro World.

Let's review for a moment ... While hunting for the National League Central title, the Cubs have added

Kenny Lofton
Aramis Ramirez
Doug Glanville
Randall Simon
Tony Womack

These guys all have one thing in common: they're not productive hitters. Lofton will give you a decent average, but he no longer draws walks and he has no power. Ramirez hits the occasional homer, but he swings at everything and he's awful with the glove. Glanville never met a pitch he didn't like. Same with Simon, a singles-hitting first baseman (think Mark Grace without the doubles or the walks). And Tony Womack's very good at promoting literacy with the youngsters.

The Cubs are a mere half-game out of first place, so they have as good a chance as anybody at winning this thing. And while it would be fun to see Wrigley's ivy on TV in October, it's awfully hard to root for a team that 1) sells "Take Me Out to the Ball Game" to the highest bidder, and 2) doesn't seem to know a hitter from a ... privy.

Senior writer Rob Neyer writes four columns per week during the baseball season. His new book, "Rob Neyer's Big Book of Baseball Lineups," has just been published by Fireside. For more information about the book, visit Rob's Web site.