Law: Predicting 2019 win-loss record for every MLB team

I do this every year, and every year people get very mad online over what is truly an exercise in entertainment. I didn't build a sophisticated model to come up with these predicted standings; I wrote the whole thing on a flight home from Arizona, in fact, with spotty internet access from my chair in the sky. Please direct all flames to /dev/null. Otherwise, enjoy my predictions for the standings, postseason results and award winners for the 2019 MLB season.