On February 5, I sent my resume to Bud Selig. Since Montreal owner Jeffrey Loria and his staff are packed and ready to move on to the Florida Marlins, someone has to run the Expos for their final season. Why shouldn't it be me?

Well, it's not me. The job ended up going to former Angels president Tony Tavares before I even got an interview. Knowing I was going head-to-head with the man who gave baseball the Rally Monkey, I had prepared diligently for my interview.

There is more to running the Expos than having the moving vans show up on September 30. For example, you need to write the descriptions for the items headed for eBay. And then there's the task of attracting enough of the Quebecois that the season attendance is not a total embarrassment.

I'm not a sore loser. So, as a public service, here are some of the things I would have done -- and which Mr. Tavares might want to do -- to make the final season in Montreal memorable:

Turn back the clock Sundays
The Expos have already committed to their final season at le Stade Olympique. The Big O turf has been put out to pasture. New AstroGrass is on order.

New turf won't improve the aesthetics of le Stade. It's grimy and gloomy and has a unique ... umm, aroma. But abandoning the stadium completely is not possible. So we'll abandon le Stade on Sundays.

In Montreal, every Sunday home game will be "Turn Back the Clock Day" as the Expos return to Parc Jarry. The park is still there and its 28,000 seats will help make the stands look less empty than the 46,000 seats at le Stade.

Fans looking for the fine amusements of modern parks need look no further than Jarry. The Diamondbacks have a swimming pool in the outfield. Well, so does Jarry. OK, technically the pool is in the city park behind the right-field fence, but it could still be rented out for parties. The Astros run a train along the left-field wall for every Houston home run. We'll have to work with the Canada Pacific Railroad on timing, but the tracks are already in place, just past the parking lot on the third-base side.

Promotional events
During the 2001 season, Montreal's promotional events were limited to special ticket prices. With a total season attendance of 619,451, the effectiveness of those promotions can be questioned.

This offseason the Expos' promotional campaign was, in the words of ESPN.com's Jayson Stark, "Come Watch us Contract" ... except they'd say it in French, of course. Special ticket prices might not turn the trick this year. As a matter of fact, charging for tickets might not work. But, since the games are more fun with a crowd that can be counted on more than two hands, the 2002 season should feature a limited promotional schedule:

April 2: Jeffrey Loria Memorial Ceremonial First Pitch Night. Baseball does not have a sense of humor. However, it does have a finely developed sense of irony. Want proof? Major League Baseball scheduled the Marlins for the Expos home opener. Each unemployed former member of the Marlins staff is invited to throw out a ceremonial first pitch. With potential participants numbering in the dozens, fans are encouraged to come early as this could take a while.

June 15: Maurice Richard Bobblehead Night. All of Canada is invited to see the Blue Jays and pay tribute to Canada's legendary Rocket, with the Expos' first and last bobblehead promotion.

July 28: Le Grande Orange Celebriduck Day. The Marlins are back in town. And the Expos honor the career of Rusty Staub in a special promotional event sponsored by the Florida Citrus Commission.

July 31: Randy Johnson Growth Chart Night. What better way to honor the Montreal tradition of scouting, developing and losing some of the finest ballplayers of the past two decades than with the longest growth chart in baseball history when the Diamondbacks come to town.

September 29: Bob Short Memorial Forfeit the Final Home Game Day. The day begins with pregame ceremonies retiring every number ever worn by an Expo. In honor of the last owner to leave a town without baseball, all fans are invited to charge the field during the seventh-inning stretch, forcing the Expos to forfeit the game to the Reds. The success of this event will depend upon enough fans showing up to actually be able to disrupt the game. Fans will be encouraged not to get a head start on this event at the Marlins' final appearance in Montreal on September 26.

The real success of any baseball franchise is its ability to build a permanent fan base by attracting children so that they, in turn, will bring their children. Even though there will be no Expos for children to bring their children to see someday, there is always the hope that future generations of Quebecois will turn out to support the Northern League franchise that is likely to replace the Expos -- once Montreal builds them a suitable park.

David Hallstrom lives in Chicago. He counts a photograph of himself in the parking lot of Parc Jarry circa 1970 among his prized possessions.