Welcome to Mohr Sports. Here's the good news, Indy Racing is trying to start a seniors league. How can they race if they can't see over the wheel? Sponsorship logos will be replaced with "Ask me about my Grandkids" stickers. The first accident will most likely occur when someone slides their car into reverse at the starting line. I can picture it now, a bunch of old men going around the track with their turn signals on.
Michael Schumacher has won the sports man of the year award. How does someone who drives around for a living win sportsman of the year award? I know his car is pissed. If Secretariat can be named one of the top fifty athletes of all time, what about Schumacher's car? They both do the same thing for a living, give rides.
Congratulations to Mike Piazza who hit a Grand Slam on Sunday knocking in his 1,000th RBI. Who knew he'd be so great at bringing men home?
A Georgia man has been convicted to 30 years in prison without parole for selling fake tickets to the Masters. The next time he hears "It's in the hole!" It will have a completely different meaning.
It's been a busy week for Anna Kournikova. First, Venus Williams had to pull out of a match against Anna after she injured her wrist picking up her equipment bag. It was Anna's greatest career victory.
You know usually it's a man grabbing his bag that hurts a wrist looking at Venus and Anna.
Martina Hingis may have to retire due to joint injuries. Why retire, just have Lamar Odom replace the joints.
Tony Pena was hired to be the manager of the Kansas City Royals. I wonder if Tony is going to manage with his left leg kicked out to the side. What was that, the lion pose in yoga? Tony told the team, "I am the new D.J., I play the music." Once again, it was a sad day as Bel Biv DeVoe cleaned out their locker. That music, by the way, "Loser" by Beck.
ESPN analyst, Buck Showalter told the Kansas City Star that his reputation as a dictator is way off base. And it is an over exaggeration to call Buck a Dictator. I have no idea who added the "tator."
Former Dallas Stars forward Patrick Cote was arrested for possession of 30 pounds of marijuana. Nate Newton called and said "30 pounds, is that all? Man up!" By the way, the call was collect.
Manny Ramirez of the Boston Red Sox will be out with a broken index finger. The New York Mafia says next time he doesn't pay up, it'll be the whole hand.
Jose Canseco fresh into retirement says he is going to write a new tell all book in which he will name names regarding women and steroids. Hey, Jose, way to kick off that hall of fame campaign.
Mark MacGuire who in the past has been accused of taking steroids and andro, just got married to Stephanie Slemer, who works as a pharmaceutical rep. Gee, I wonder how they met?
54 climbers made it to the summit of Mt. Everest. The record group climbed the 29,035 feet in record time. Wow, that's like climbing Star Jones. What's the big deal? I rented that movie with Chris O'Donnell. He did it. I mean so what, I've been up to 35 thousand feet. It was on a plane, but it was coach. Since no one fell off the mountain, the Price is Right Contestant won the car.
Twelve year old Michelle Wie's first day in the LPGA was a bad one. Five bogey's, and three double bogey's putting her in 136th place. I wonder why she was so nervous? Probably because she's 12! Who's running the LPGA, Kathy Lee? What she really needs is to hit a round of puberty.
Chris Carter says this year he will retire. I wonder who will not win the Super Bowl in his place.
The trash talking between the Kings and the Lakers started before the series began. Shaq had posted a quote of Vlade Divac saying "If the Lakers don't have home court advantage, they aren't going to win." Hey Vlade, you've got to be a real comedian to say something like that.
By the way, Vlade Divak and Yakov Smirnoff...you never see them at the same time.
Former Memphis Grizzley GM, Billy Knight was named director of basketball operations for the Atlanta Hawks. That's about as significant as a crack whore changing streets. How will he ever recreate that Memphis magic in Atlanta?
Who saw the lottery at Half time of the Celtic's, Nets game? Hey, NBA nice lotto balls.
Thirteen billionaires in the room and it looked like a public access version of "the Weakest Link." It looked like a jury. Could some of these guys smile once in a while. Did you see Jerry Krause?
The guy looks like Mama Cass if she let herself go. Look at him. It's Big Pussy from the Sopranos.
Good God, if you're gonna put Jerry Krause on TV at least give him a Lobster Bib. He looked like Stephen Hawking with a gland problem.I was afraid he was gonna lick Dominique Wilkins head.
|
 |
 |
|
| Jay warms up the audience. |
|
 |
|
| Jay clowns around with 310 Racing Team’s Indy car driver, George Mack, before the race. |
|
 |
|
| Jay interviews racing legend and four-time Indy 500 champion, Rick Mears. |
|
| All above photos courtesy of JayMohrLive.com |
|
|
