INDIANAPOLIS -- For all those sworn enemies of Atlantic Coast Conference basketball -- and you know who you are -- furnish the most applicable punch line to the following prevarication and win a change of heart, not to mention an engraved invitation to Coach K's next open house in his cavernous aerie high above Krzyzewskiville:

THE ACC IS SO DOWN THIS YEAR THAT:
A. North Carolina's rapid humiliation of Kansas' "best starting lineup in America" may cause Roy Williams to re-apply for that job opening in Chapel Hill.
B. Virginia spreading its stultifying "U-Miss-3" zone defense all over Kentucky, and Georgia Tech whipping Georgia, may force the SEC to go back to emphasizing football.
C. Wake Forest's "Big E" -- Eric Williams, all 6-foot-9, 270 pounds of him -- pulverized Temple to such an extent that John Chaney lamented his inside guys "were nothing but ushers at a theater asking people where they wanted to sit."
D. Conference teams finished November with an overall record of 25-1 and even Clemson looks, like, up -- at least to Wofford and High Point.

	Duke is back, thanks to Randolph and his classmates.

This is not even to mention the last two national champions (who also happen to be dues-paying members of the ACC) -- the current holder, Maryland, which has been so busy showcasing its new arena, the Terps won't get around to playing anybody of consequence until that title-game rematch against Indiana on Tuesday, and the erstwhile champs, Duke, which really truly must be down.

When Blue Devil supergrad Liddy Dole wins a North Carolina U.S. Senate seat by only a couple of percentage points; when a robust young Duke fan gets absolutely punked by a female UCLA fan old enough to be his grandmother right here at midcourt in the Conseco Fieldhouse; when CBS' normally intellligible Clark Kellogg, emceeing the awards ceremony at the Wooden Tradition doubleheaders, announces the place as "the University of Duke," well, it might be a long, long season after all.

Actually, that temporary Duke setback came in a shrimp cocktail-eating contest on the court during the first game of the Wooden Tradition. (Yes, it was during a timeout. And no, the 92-year-old legend did not turn over in his seat, watching such tackiness intrude on this hoops haven.) More significantly, the Blue Devils did reverse the outcome in the real game, defeating UCLA, 84-73, while unloading a whole new raft of freshmen. But upon further review, it should also be pointed out that while K waits for his kiddie korps to konker another kingdom, he's not adverse to pulling a couple of other rabbits, or rather obscure upperclassmen, out of his multilayered hat.

The situation in Indy was this: UCLA had scored 12 of the game's first 14 points even though Bruins coach Steve Lavin had benched two of his starters after they missed a film session the previous night. (They must have thought it was another Adam Sandler flick.) In the first four minutes of the game, Dijon Thompson, especially, had been hot as mustard, wasting Duke rookie Shavlik Randolph for 10 points and a steal. "It was not a good matchup for Shav," Krzyzewski said later. What he said right then, however, was: "Sit…. down." Momentarily, K called the first timeout of a game for, what, the first time in his life (?) and took his whole lineup out with the exception of junior point guard Chris Duhon.

Among others, this brought on a couple of sparsely used big men, Casey Sanders -- who proceeded to turn Dijon into horseradish (Thompson scored exactly one more basket the rest of the contest) -- and Nick Horvath, who is not that neat character from a novel you can never remember, but a budding novelist himself and a neat character whom Dukies will always remember as the guy who three years ago banked in a three to defeat DePaul in overtime. This time all the 6-10 Horvath did to UCLA was keep darting into the lane for 16 points and the best 21 minutes of his career.

Most propitious of all, of course, Koach K went to J.J. -- and from now on Jonathan Clay Redick of Roanoke, Va. (Clay for his father's background as a stoneware potter; the other J obviously for "Jumper") may never come out of the lineup again.

Redick's shooting was already near legend before Indy -- with comparisons to Mike Dunleavy of last year and Chris Mullin (an almost-Dukie) of yesteryear. But the 6-5 freshman with the poker face and the nerdy haircut has a quicker release and an even more unlimited range. As he lit up UCLA with five trifectas and 20 points from all area codes, the joke was the Virginia Rifle could probably swish 'em from a cave or a spring -- his high school back in Roanoke being, of course, Cave Spring.

"J.J.'s our most mature, consistent freshman. But he's more than a shooter," Krzyzewski glowed afterward. "He has a chance to be …" And he stopped. "Uh, he shoots better than that in practice."

"I'm not just surprised when he misses. I'm shocked when he hits the rim," said Duhon, who also called Redick's scores "momentum baskets."

	J.J.'s well on his way to being Coach K's next "chosen one".

Like the triple he hit to close out Duke's 13-0 run and give his team a 15-12 lead after he first entered the game. Or the driving, three-point play (the old fashioned way) or the fast-break pull-up 13-footer or still another 22-foot trey he cashed in the Devils' 13-2 sprint in the middle of the second half that put UCLA away. "He did a great job taking shots in the flow," Lavin marveled. "He just floats around out there and they find him. This kid has great rotation, technique, confidence. I thought he was the key to the game."

Which is to say, a thoroughly revolting key to another horrid week in the life of ACC despisers. Just when they thought, Okay, so Carolina looked impressive in New York with their own trifecta of young talents. There's no freshman quite like Sean May. (Wait till they see Wake Forest's massive Williams or Georgia Tech's Chris Bosh.) There's no freshman quite like Raymond Felton. (Well, get a load of the new Tech point guard, Jarrett Jack.) And there's nobody quite like Rashad McCants. (Wait, again -- don't ever look down the barrel of Rifle Redick.)

The Duke team was dining at Indy's ancient St. Elmo's Steak House on Friday night while their bitter rivals, the Tar Heels, were putting the finishing touches on that shocking Preseason NIT double wipeout of first, Kansas, and then Stanford. The Blue Devils couldn't get the game on their hotel TV anyway. (Something about it being on only one of ESPN's 47 channels.) But the news didn't really surprise. "Our kids know their kids," said Duke assistant coach Chris Collins. "They know how good they are. Listen, this was a terrific week for our league, and we dote on that. We love it when the Tar Heels are great. The ACC wasn't the ACC last year because Carolina wasn't Carolina. Of course, they're back … and we'll be waiting."

BOUNCE PASS

New leading tattoo in the clubhouse: Luke Whitehead of Louisville, whose right bicep is decorated with an enormous, and enormously detailed, globe, divided into quadrants darkened into shapes of countries. The globe is labeled, naturally: "WHITEHEAD WORLD." Unfortunately, when the Cards' forward missed an open jumper from the baseline at the buzzer, Purdue beat Louisville in the nightcap of the Wooden Tradition, 86-84, and Luke was in a Whitehead World of blackhearted hurt.

Curry Kirkpatrick is a senior writer for ESPN The Magazine. E-mail him at curry.kirkpatrick@espn3.com.