Jonathan Martin says personal torment behind suicide attempts while in NFL

CHARLOTTE, N.C. -- Neither the Carolina Panthers nor tackle Jonathan Martin offered much explanation outside of a mysterious back injury when the subject of the 2013 Miami Dolphins' bullying scandal retired prior to training camp.

But in a lengthy message posted Tuesday night on Facebook, Martin admitted to depression and trying to kill himself on multiple occasions in explaining his decision to give up football.

He mentioned struggles with racial identity and being accepted by the crowd.

"Your job leads you to attempt to kill yourself on multiple occasions,'' Martin wrote. "Your self-perceived social inadequacy dominates your every waking moment & thought. You're petrified of going to work. You either sleep 12, 14, 16, hours a day when you can, or not at all. You drink too much, smoke weed constantly, have trouble focusing on doing your job, playing the sport that you grew up obsessed with."

It was determined through an NFL investigation that three Miami linemen -- Richie Incognito, John Jerry and Mike Pouncey -- engaged in a pattern of harassment directed at Martin and another young offensive lineman identified as Player A in the Ted Wells report.

It was written in the Wells report that Martin was harassed in middle school and high school, resulting in a lack of self-esteem and depression as a teenager.

The Wells report also mentioned that Martin contemplated suicide on two occasions, in January and May of 2013.

"According to Martin, in middle school and high school he was the victim of bullying, which diminished his self-confidence and self-esteem and contributed to what he self-diagnosed as periodic bouts of depression during his teenage years," the report said. "Martin claims that the depression he experienced in high school recurred as a result of mistreatment by his teammates on the Dolphins and that on two occasions in 2013 he even contemplated suicide."

Carolina claimed Martin off waivers in March when he was released by San Francisco. General manager Dave Gettleman said he was surprised when Martin announced a few days before camp in late July that he was retiring.

Gettleman said Martin had done well in practice as the backup to Michael Oher at left tackle, but he didn't elaborate on why Martin retired.

Martin indicated in his only interview while with the Panthers that he had moved on from the bullying scandal.

"All that's in my past,'' he said. "My focus has always been just moving forward to what's next. Now after I've spent a year in San Francisco I'm with the Panthers, and just looking forward to my opportunity and making the most of it.''

The back injury that reportedly led to Martin's retirement was suffered sometime after players were released following a June minicamp. Carolina management offered no explanation when questioned about it.

Martin referred to an injury in the message.

"You play another year and a half and get badly injured," he wrote. "You want to keep playing, but having broken free of the addiction that football had been, you know inside that risking permanent debilitating injury isn't worth it. So you retire."

Martin concluded his post by saying he told his story to help others who might be in a similar situation.

"You let your demons go, knowing that, perhaps, sharing your story can help some other chubby, goofy, socially isolated, sensitive kid getting bullied in America who feels like no one in the world cares about them,'' Martin wrote. "And let them know that they aren't alone.''