Los Angeles Chargers' Kenneth Murray Jr. playing with heavy heart in aftermath of brother's death

COSTA MESA, Calif. -- You can hear the sadness in his voice. It's not outwardly noticeable if you didn't know to look for it, but it's there -- the kind of sadness you would never wish on anyone.

Los Angeles Chargers linebacker Kenneth Murray Jr. is a 6-foot-2, 241-pound chiseled athlete who cares passionately about the game of football. He also cares passionately about his family, especially his adopted siblings, all of whom have a chromosomal abnormality known as deletion.

His father, a Baptist minister, and his mother, a retired police officer, learned of the children from his church congregation and took them in when Murray was 11. And when their middle son, the one he was closest to, Lenny, died unexpectedly in April on what would have been his 14th birthday, Murray was devastated.

Murray had pledged to take care of the kids if something happened to his parents. But nobody expected something like this to happen to one of the children.

"One day I was doing something with football and I got a phone call and I kind of had to drop everything and jump on a flight and go through that," he said. "Since then I've just kind of stayed to myself."

He took to Twitter to process his grief:

Not wanting to divulge more details, all Murray would say about Lenny's death is that it was "like a bad nightmare," and something he tries not to think about.

"It's too hurtful to do in the media," he explained simply.

The children, Niya, Lenny and James, were born with deletion, a condition in which part of a chromosome is missing crucial genetic material. Lenny was the most severely affected and used a wheelchair. He was also Murray's biggest fan.

"He was super enthusiastic about coming to the games," Murray said. "That's what makes it such a sore spot for me."

The family would often make the seven-hour drive from their home in Missouri City, Texas, up to Norman, Oklahoma, where Murray played for the Sooners. He started at linebacker for three years and racked up 334 tackles and 9.5 sacks. His biggest year came as a sophomore in 2018, when he had 155 tackles, including a school record 28 in an overtime win over Army.

Murray was co-Big 12 defensive freshman of the year in 2017 and second-team all-conference in 2018 before being a first-team All-Big 12 and third-team All-America pick in 2019. His work ethic was legendary. He'd often watch five to six hours of film a day early in the morning before class. And when he was selected in the first round of the 2020 draft by the Chargers with the No. 23 pick, his entire family was with him as GM Tom Telesco made the call that would change his football life.

He's carried his work ethic with him to the NFL, where he had 107 tackles as a rookie a year ago and 20 through three games this season with the Chargers (2-1), who host the Las Vegas Raiders (3-0) on Monday Night Football (8:15 p.m. ET, ESPN). Murray was placed on injured reserve Monday with an ankle injury suffered in practice Saturday.

"We have just a great group on defense including Kenneth, we have him and [S] Derwin [James Jr.]," Chargers defensive end Joey Bosa said. "All the guys during practice every week, every day, they always bring energy so they have been great."

"He has worked extremely hard," Chargers defensive coordinator Renaldo Hill said. "We have talked about playing him downhill, being back and being able to run sideline to sideline. He has all of those traits."

When the children arrived at the Murray home 11 years ago, Murray and his biological sister, Kimberly, had to grow up fast. With their parents, they helped shuttle the kids to various doctors' appointments and therapy.

Niya is now 19 and reads at an elementary school level. James, the youngest, is 12 and uses a wheelchair. Lenny was the sports fan in the group and used to spend hours in front of the TV watching whatever sport was being played. And they all loved traveling to Oklahoma to watch Murray perform.

Lenny and Murray would go out in the backyard and do whatever they could to emulate playing catch and other sports and activities.

It's been a painful five months since Lenny died, but Murray says his family and his faith have gotten him through the hardest times. Of his compassion, he points directly to his parents.

"I'm from them," Murray said. "It's where I get all of this."

In his pre-draft interview, Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones asked Murray what challenge has made him who he is on and off the field. He pointed to his experience growing up with his siblings.

"I look at it not as a setback, but as a blessing," he answered. "When I was growing up, my mom and my dad did things that were true acts of selflessness."

It's what inspired him to work as a church counselor during summers growing up. He also volunteered at El Modena High School in Orange, California, last month to help honor the Chargers' high school coach of the month, Matt Mitchell, and be part of El Modena's pregame coin toss. Murray is an active member of the Fellowship of Christian Athletes and regularly visited the Children's Hospital at the Oklahoma Medical Center. His first task after the draft was to set up funds for his siblings for long-term care.

Murray cherishes every interaction that he has with his siblings, which is why Lenny's death hit so hard.

"He had special needs and you learn to appreciate the small things because you know the small goals that a lot of times, we as human beings we take for granted," Murray said. "And you learn to appreciate them when you see somebody who can't do those things and still finds a way to be happy.

"That was Lenny."