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Tuesday, July 31
 
Fleury: 'I know where I've been and where I'm going'

By George Johnson
Special to ESPN.com

The statements are considered the height of hackneyed cliche:

Theoren Fleury
After undergoing substance-abuse treatment, Theo Fleury is ready to rejoin his Rangers teammates.
'I'm taking it one period at a time.'

Followed in short order by:

'No, actually I'm taking it one shift at a time.'

Well, for Theo Fleury now, his life, not his on-ice performance, will be measured in precisely those terms.

"It's a day-to-day thing," he said of his substance-abuse battle, which has now moved out of rehab and into the more difficult arena of everyday existence. "Something that's going to continue to be this way. Something I've got to live with.

"When you're an athlete, particularly when you're younger, you feel invincible. Well, you're not.

"I've addressed the problem. I feel good about what I did."

Prior to teeing off at his annual charity golf tournament in Calgary in support of Crohn's Disease and Colitis, the feisty sparkplug spoke publicly for the first time about the personal torment that cut short a spectacular personal season for the New York Rangers at the end of February and sent him into rehabilitation, counselling and a stay with a sponsor in New Mexico.

Fleury told reporters that physically he's "in the best shape ever" for his comeback season in Manhattan. He said that by admitting he had a problem and required help has removed a huge mental burden. Make no mistake, this was someone carrying around more baggage than a Pullman Porter at Grand Central Station.

"I felt," he said, "it was time to deal with certain issues in my life."

No details were given on the nature of Fleury's addiction -- alcohol or drugs -- or the events that finally triggered his plea for help last spring.

"I was shocked," said old friend Al Coates, who spent 11 years working with Fleury in Calgary and is now in charge of the Rangers' American Hockey League farm club in Hartford.

"In fact, the last time I saw him before he left, he'd shaved that little piece of hair off his chin, he had his tooth in and I told him 'You look like the All-American kid.' He went out that night and had three or four points, as I recall.

"So that's why I was stunned when I heard the news.

"I can honestly say I didn't know what was going on."

I had these issues long before I went to New York. But, saying that, I don't think I was fully prepared for the change. I'm a prairie kid, from a town of 1,500. I felt like I'd been dropped in the middle of Manhattan and left to fend on my own.
Theo Fleury

There had, however, been plenty of whispers. He has spoken publicly about his father's alcoholism and his mother's instability. But since the shocking Graham James sexual abuse revelation by Sheldon Kennedy, and the persistent rumors that Fleury -- who steadfastly refused comment on the issue -- may have been a victim of his predatory former junior hockey coach, many people felt he was a time bomb waiting to go off. The question wasn't 'if' but 'where' and 'when.' And certainly winding up in New York, with all the temptations it can offer, couldn't have helped to defuse the explode mechanism any.

"I had these issues long before I went to New York," argued Fleury. "But, saying that, I don't think I was fully prepared for the change. I'm a prairie kid, from a town of 1,500. I felt like I'd been dropped in the middle of Manhattan and left to fend on my own."

What was most puzzling about the timing of the substance-abuse announcement was the level of Fleury's play. He was fourth in the league in scoring and had easily been among the top dozen top performers in the game to that point, despite the obvious torment he was experiencing away from the security blanket of the team.

"It was devastating to our hockey club," said Rangers' general manager Glen Sather, also on hand for the golf tournament. "We were -- what? -- only four points out of a playoff spot when Theo left. But it was the right thing to do."

When asked if the Rangers considered Fleury ready to go and a key component in their bid to reach the playoffs after an extended absence, Sather replied without hesitation:

"Absolutely we're counting on him.

"I'm proud of what he did last year -- on and off the ice. It was difficult for Theo to do what he did. Recognizing the problem and asking for help is a big step forward. A million people suffer from these problems. But not many are as high-profile as Theo."

Fleury got a big boost when, despite his personal turmoil, Canadian Olympic Team executive director Wayne Gretzky included him on a preliminary 34-player roster for the Winter Games in Salt Lake City next February. It was yet another show of support from the hockey community.

I'm still the same player I've always been. There was never, ever a thought in my mind that I would not come back.
Theo Fleury
"It's always an honor to play for your country," Fleury said. "Wayne Gretzky, a person I have a tremendous amount of respect for, has given me a chance to play on the (Canadian Olympic) team, which I'm thankful for.

"I'm still the same player I've always been. There was never, ever a thought in my mind that I would not come back.

"But I'm a human being first and foremost. I have problems, like anybody else. But I knew I couldn't do this alone anymore. I needed some help. I needed some support. I called the right people and we came up with a game plan."

It's not a plan about Xs and Os or transition or the left-wing lock. It's about right and wrong, good and bad, survival or the alternative. The man himself sounds optimistic.

"I've got a great support system in place," he said. "I know where I've been and where I'm going. Everybody in life is dealt cards. I didn't play the hand I got properly.

"There are a lot of things I have to change in my life."

What he's got going for him are the very attributes which have taken him to the upper echelons of his profession -- tenacity, inner strength and great self-belief.

Yes, Theo Fleury has always been at his best when the stakes are highest.

And this game -- played out in private, in the down times, the vulnerable times, far removed from the roar of the crowd -- is one he simply cannot afford to lose.

George Johnson of the Calgary Herald is a frequent contributor to ESPN.com.







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