I've always known that I can't eat an apple off Ray Ferraro's head, but I always thought he was shorter than 5-foot-10. Yet when I stand next to him on the set of NHL 2Night, he clearly has me by five inches ... and 408 goals.
While watching an evening's worth of games in the studio last week, the idea of an all-short team came up. Ray and I tossed around a few names, past and present. We both get excited when The Pocket Rocket's name comes up. Not only was Henri Richard a sprite 5-7 and 160 pounds, but he won 11 Stanley Cups -- the pinnacle for little guys. He makes my past team any day.
Things got a little contentious when the present team came up. Ray took offense when I tabbed Minnesota Wild pivot Cliff Ronning as my center.
"Ronning! I've got 100 more goals than he does! You're killing me Panger!" Chicken Parm yelled.
"Parm," I said, trying to reason with him, "you're too tall, buddy."
Ronning, mind you, is listed at 5-8. I'm thinking that's the first time in Parm's life someone said he was too tall.
(For the record, before he was Chicken Parm and Razor, Ferraro's nickname was Pee-Wee, which was given to him by Blues coach Joel Quenneville when they played together in Hartford.)
On to the lists ...
Pang's Gang: The Past All-Short Team
Murray Oliver, left wing, 5-10, 170
Career stats: 1,127 games, 274 goals, 454 assists, 728 points, 725 penalty minutes
Teams: Detroit (1957-61), Boston (1961-67), Toronto (1967-70), Minnesota North Stars (1970-75)
Qualifications: Oliver is one of the most underrated players in NHL history. He played in five All-Star Games (1963, 1964, 1965, 1967, 1968) and finished in the top 10 in points in 1962-63, 1963-64 and 1965-66. I've played golf with Murray, and he doesn't seem like he's 5-10. I wouldn't be surprised if he embellished a bit.
Henri Richard, center, 5-7, 160
Career stats: 1,256 games, 358 goals, 688 assists, 1,046 points
Teams: Montreal Canadiens (1955-75)
Qualifications: Most players are lucky to have won one Stanley Cup. The Pocket Rocket has 11. The twice led the league in assists (1957-58, 1962-63), played in 10 All-Star games, and was named a postseason all-star four times. He was inducted into the Hall of Fame in 1979.
Ted Lindsay, right wing, 5-8, 163
Career stats: 1,068 games, 379 goals, 472 assists, 851 points
Teams: Detroit (1944-57, 1964-65), Chicago (1957-60)
Qualifications: Terrible Ted has got to play the right side for me. He's the toughest man ever to play the game of hockey. You don't need to be big to be tough and Lindsay is an example of that. Besides registering 1,808 penalty minutes in his career, he was the league's top scorer in 1949-50 with 78 points. He also led the league in assists that year with 55. He led the league in goals with 33 in 1947-48. He won four Cups -- all with Detroit -- played in 11 All-Star games and was named a postseason all-star nine times. He was inducted into the Hall of Fame in 1966.
Curt Giles, defense, 5-8, 175
Career stats: 895 games, 43 goals, 199 assists, 242 points
Teams: Minnesota (1979-87, 1988-91), N.Y. Rangers (1987-88), St. Louis (1990-93)
Qualifications: Giles lives in infamy with me. He scored on me two minutes into my first game. It was the first shot on net. I remember him being short because I was able to look him in the eye when I was sitting on my net.
King Clancy, defense, 5-7, 155
Career stats: 592 games, 136 goals, 147 assists, 283 points
Teams: Ottawa (1921-30), Toronto (1930-37)
Qualifications: He was one of the first offensive defensemen in the league; he scored 40 points in 44 games in 1929-30. He was also an intense little son-of-a-gun, who racked up 914 penalty minutes. He won three Cups and was inducted into the Hockey Hall of Fame in 1958. The King Clancy Memorial Trophy is awarded to a player who leads on an off the ice and has made humanitarian contributions to the community.
Roy Worters, goal, 5-3, 135
Career stats: 484 games, 171 wins, 229 losses, 83 ties, 2.27 goals-against average
Teams: Pittsburgh (1925-28), N.Y. Americans (1928-37), one game for Montreal Canadiens (1929-30)
Qualifications: Called "Shrimp" back in his day, Worters is the only goalie "officially" shorter than I am (see the story below). He was the first goalie to win the Hart Trophy as league MVP after posting a 1.15 GAA in 1929. He took home the Vezina in 1931 after leading the league with a 1.61 goals-against average. He posted 66 shutouts in only 12 seasons. He was inducted into the Hall of Fame in 1969.
Billy Reay, coach, 5-7, 155
Career stats: 1,102 games, 542 wins, 385 losses, 175 ties
Teams: Toronto (1957-59), Chicago (1963-77)
Qualifications: Didn't win any Cups, but no one an wear fedoras with the same flair and class as Billy can.
Pang's Gang: The Current All-Short Team
Martin St. Louis, left wing, 5-9, 185
Career stats: 216 games, 48 goals, 69 assists, 117 points
Teams: Calgary (1998-2000), Tampa Bay (2000-present)
Qualifications: Wears No. 26 because of Mats Naslund, the swift skating Swede of his favorite team growing up, the Canadiens. This guy has always beaten the odds and is not stopping just because he's made the NHL. A three-time All-American at Vermont, he's also challenging John LeClair and Aaron Miller as the pride of the Catamounts.
Cliff Ronning, center, 5-8, 165
Career stats: 1,034 games, 285 goals, 531 assists, 816 points
Teams: St. Louis (1985-91), Vancouver (1991-96), Phoenix (1996-99), Nashville (1999-2002), Minnesota (present)
Qualifications: An original of Panger's Danglers, Ronning may be the best street hockey player of all time. He loves to have the puck on his tape.
Theo Fleury, right wing, 5-6, 180
Career stats: 1,030 games, 443 goals, 612 assists, 1,055 points
Teams: Calgary (1988-99), Colorado (1999), N.Y. Rangers (1999-2002), Chicago (present)
Qualifications: My fondest memory of Theo is watching him go from the Salt Lake Golden Eagles of the International League to his first exhibition game in Calgary, where he ignited the crowd with his play and love for the game. He's played in the All-Star Game seven times. (With Theo on the shelf, Steve Sullivan is my reserve right winger. Sully -- 5-9, 160 -- is one of the best breakaway players in the NHL.)
Kimmo Timonen, defense, 5-10, 196
Career stats: 279 games, 38 goals, 82 assists, 120 points
Teams: Nashville (1998-present)
Qualifications: Trust me, he's vertically challenged for a defenseman, but he's a stocky son-of-a-gun, sees the ice well and can make a great play. He's very underrated.
Mike Weaver, defense, 5-9, 180
Career stats: 21 games, 0 goals, 1 assist, 1 point
Teams: Atlanta (2001-present)
Qualifications: Watch him play, especially when big forwards are on the ice (he's managed to annoy more than a few). Ferraro calls him a pit bull. Weaves plays a smart game by keeping things simple. He was one of the Chicago Wolves best defensemen during their Calder Cup run last year and is sticking with Atlanta.
Arturs Irbe, goal, 5-8, 190
Career stats: 527 games, 206 wins, 213 losses, 76 ties, 2.82 goals-against average
Teams: San Jose (1991-96), Dallas (1996-97), Vancouver (1997-98), Carolina (1998-present)
Qualifications: Sorry to hear he wants out of Carolina. He's one of the hardest working athletes in the NHL. A little guy who plays big. He led the league in games played in 1993-94, 1999-200 and 2000-01, and has played in the All-Star Game twice (1994, 1999).
Sizing up one NHLer
Whenever the NHL came to our junior camps, it was like a combine for the scouting bureau. They take height and weight measurements of every player. I was 5-4½ 128 pounds. And regardless of what folks may say, bigger players get the benefit of the doubt ... even goalies. So I put on a pair of long one-piece underwear and I wrapped sandbag weights sumo-style around my waist and groin. Then, I put the inner-soles of my skates -- the ones you can take out -- in my socks. My efforts got me to 5-5 and 155 pounds, which I've never come close to in my life. But that's what I am in all the record books.
So if you ever see a player who looks shorter than his listed height, remember my story.
Darren Pang, a former goaltender with the Chicago Blackhawks, is a hockey analyst for ESPN. His goalie rankings appear every other week in Net Effect.
