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	Nobody can tell troubled wide receiver Randy Moss what to do, and that unfortunate set of circumstances, writes Jason Whitlock, has left the Minnesota Vikings with little choice but to shut up and accept the inevitable punishment -- a bad team with no chemistry and an ummovable cancer in the clubhouse. WHITLOCK: ROLL WITH IT \| SPORTOON

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	He has the cleverest, smartest, best readers in the known universe, but even they can't come up with a question that the Sports Guy is afraid to answer. In Bill Simmons' latest mailbag, he passes harsh judgment on a guy who had the nerve to bring his lame new wife to a fantasy draft (No!), explains who he'd put in his All-"Real World" house, and decides, once and for all, who's better -- Pacino or De Niro.

Mystery Photo		What's Hot, What's Not

	If you think the Detroit Lions are a joke, check out the lines that our readers thought Matt Millen and Terry Bradshaw were exchanging. We asked for some clever captions to go with this week's Mystery Photo featuring the Lions president and the NFL commentator, and you came through again.		Usually, Page 2 trendmeister Dan Shanoff can be counted on for strong opinions on any subject, even those he knows nothing about. (Hey, it's not his fault ... that's what we pay him for.) This week, however, he's spotted a truly radical trend, which he fully endorses: If you don't know what to think, split your vote.

CALIFORNIA BASEBALL DIARY

The Dodgers and the Mariners, on the verge of being relegated to the junk heap of 2002 baseball history, manage to stay alive ... barely ... but that's enough to create one wonderful night, writes Page 2's Eric Neel in his California Baseball Diary.

After listing the 10 best offenses in NFL history last week, we now get defensive. Check out our list of the top 10 NFL defenses of all-time, and then click here to offer your choice for the top defense. We'll run our readers' top 10 later this week.
10]	1975 Los Angeles Rams Fred Dryer. Jack Youngblood. Merlin Olson. Get the idea? They weren't the "Fearsome Foursome," but they were almost impossible to score against.

9]	1963 Chicago Bears Bears defensive coach George Allen came up with a new zone defense against the pass that befuddled opponents and led to a whopping 36 interceptions.

8]	1973 Miami Dolphins The "No-Name" Defense held 11 opponents to 14 points or less, setting a record by allowing just 150 points in a 14-game season.

7]	1969 Kansas City Chiefs Hank Stram's "Triple Stack" defense, which gave the linebackers lots of room to roam, was superb, holding five opponents to fewer than 10 points and giving up an average of less than two touchdowns a game.
	• GET THE FULL LIST

NFL	FAVORITE	LINE	UNDERDOG	O/U
Sunday	Dolphins	3	Chiefs	44½
Sunday	Bills	3	Bears	44
Sunday	Packers	7½	Panthers	43
Sunday	Patriots	3	Chargers	42
COLLEGE FB	FAVORITE	LINE	UNDERDOG	O/U
Saturday	USC	3½	Oregon State	NL
All Times ET \| Bold indicates home team Complete line


	Got a comment about something you've seen on Page 2? Here's your chance to sound off to the editors and columnists. Plus, if you'd like to send an e-mail to The Sports Guy, here's your direct link to Bill Simmons.

	DEEP THOUGHTS Ralph Wiley probes the uncensored thoughts of NFL stars and wannabe stars ... and gathers plenty of Moss.
	CHANGING HISTORY Jim Caple imagines how baseball -- and world history -- might have been different if George W. Bush's dream of being MLB commissioner had come true.
	CRITICAL MASS Eric Neel examines the philosophy behind the United Way's commercials featuring NFL stars.
	TUESDAY MORNING QB TMQ exposes conspiracies involving the NFL, the Miss America pageant and the highest offices of the U.S. government.
	HEY, RUBE The Good Doctor returns from his hiatus to update us on his latest gambling exploits and offer his prediction for the Super Bowl.


	If your favorite writer isn't on Page 2 today, click here to check out our full roster of columnists.

It's Randy Moss' world and we're just living in it. Eighty-seven readers pointed out the likeness between Moss, left, and Teck Holmes from MTV's "Real World 8, Hawaii." Browse our archives of past pairs or click here to submit a future duo.

Red Sox at White Sox
2 p.m. ET, WGN
Check out the Sox before they're cleaned up in offseason.

College football: Florida State at Louisville
7:30 p.m. ET, ESPN
Unbeaten No. 4 Seminoles visit 2-2 Cardinals.

MLS: Fire at Revolution
7:30 p.m. ET, ESPN2
Game 1 of first-to-five-points quarterfinals.

• Complete TV Listings

If you missed Page 2 over the last week, check out our back issues:
• Wed., Sept. 25: Dream of Randy
• Tues., Sept. 24: The 0 Files
• Mon., Sept. 23: Sick Puppies
• Fri., Sept. 20: Singin' in Brain

Other featured content:
• What the Heck Are They Thinking?
• 10 Burning Questions with Mark Mulder
• NFL Stud & Dud for Week 3
• Reel Life: "The Natural"
• "The Sopranos" Casting Call
• Page 2's Fall TV preview
• Page 2 Goes to the Movies
• Our Top 20 Sports Movies

Thursday, Sept. 26, 2002