espn.com Ali Contest
Corey Feldman and Corey Haim will give a joint acceptance speech. Dikembe Mutombo and Rickey Henderson will need closed-captioning. Liza and David will surely invite some strange guests. And Ozzy Osbourne might need to be censored. All of these folks are among the big winners at The Sports Guy's Unintentional Comedy Festival. SPORTS GUY'S UCR RATINGS




ESPN TOOLS
 
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Ken Dorsey won't be emotionally scarred for life. Maurice Clarett will still be able to move on to the NFL. Bob Stoops won't need to find another line of work. Page 2's Jason Whitlock says the world of college football will survive just fine without a playoff system -- even if three teams finish undefeated. So, don't believe all those pundits who are predicting the end of civilization as we know it.

Jim Caple The Hot List
Some are aghast at the prospect of New York City being host of the 2012 Olympics. Page 2's Jim Caple wonders what all the fuss is about, given the clean, speedy and customer-friendly public transportation system and the easily affordable housing available in The City That Never Sleeps ... not to mention, the selfless generosity of its helpful residents.
Wow, what a week! Bill James was hotter than Cal Ripken, Cubs management was hotter than the usually wily Giants management team, and Winona Ryder pulled off one of the most unusual career moves in the history of the silver screen. And Page 2's trendmeister Dan Shanoff managed to chronicle ... and rate ... all the craziness.

PAGE 2'S BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION
Page 2 turned 2 years old Wednesday, and we were so darn proud we could burst. We received hundreds of congratulatory e-mails from world-class athletes and A-list celebrities, and we want to share some of the printable ones with you.


Earlier this week, Page 2 listed the 10 biggest cancers in NBA history, and we asked your opinion. Now we've compiled our readers' list of pro hoops' biggest troublemakers, along with a poll to crown the biggest cancer of them all.

10]  Shawn Kemp
"At least all of these other guys stay in shape."
9]  Isaiah Rider
"Everywhere he has gone, he's caused problems."
8]  Rod Strickland
"Strickland = cancer. No two ways about it."
  • GET THE FULL LIST


NFL FAVORITE LINE UNDERDOG O/U
Sunday Steelers 5 Falcons 43
Sunday Rams 6½ Chargers 44½
Sunday 49ers 6 Chiefs 51½
Sunday Packers 10 Lions 42
COLLEGE FB FAVORITE LINE UNDERDOG O/U
Saturday Miami (Fla.) 9 Tennessee NL
Saturday Oklahoma 10 Texas A&M NL
Saturday Washington St. 6 Oregon NL
All Times ET | Bold indicates home team
Complete line


 
Got a comment about something you've seen on Page 2? Here's your chance to sound off to the editors and columnists. Plus, if you'd like to send an e-mail to The Sports Guy, here's your direct link to Bill Simmons.


DEEP THOUGHTS
Ralph Wiley has heard some more top-secret NFL interior monologues this week.

TUESDAY MORNING QB
In addition to his enlightening discourse on Election Day, TMQ offers a shocking but sure-fire cure for the epidemic of helmet-to-helmet and helmet-to-body hits.

I JUST DON'T KNOW
From White Sox to Wet-Naps to Wang Zhizhi, Page 2's long-suffering Bob Halloran is still trying to figure a few things out.

RAIDER NATION
As a man who wore the Silver and Black, Pat Toomay explains what it was really like to play for Raiders coach John Madden.

HEY, RUBE
The Good Doctor's drug of choice come football season is always the scarlet and gold of the 49ers.
If your favorite writer isn't on Page 2 today, click here to check out our full roster of columnists.


It's Nets guard Chris Childs, left, and the rapper NAS. Page 2 has received 84 requests for this match. Browse our archives of past pairs or click here to submit a future duo.


College football: Cincinnati at Louisville
7:30 p.m. ET, ESPN
Hoops would be better, but this is OK.
 
Lakers at Celtics
7:30 p.m. ET, TNT
After the game, the Lakers take The Sports Guy home with them.
 
Bruins at Red Wings
8 p.m. ET, ESPN2
Northeast-leading Boston visits the Cup champs.
 
• Complete TV Listings


If you missed Page 2 over the last week, check out our back issues:
• Wed., Nov. 6: Terrible Two
• Tues., Nov. 5: Election Difficulty
• Mon., Nov. 4: Pulling Our Leg
• Fri., Nov. 1: Out of Control
• Thurs., Oct. 31: Back from Dead

Other featured content:
• What the Heck Are They Thinking?
• Sportoon: Head-hunters invade NFL
• Makin' It Better
• NBA slogans for all 29 teams
• Page 2 Goes to the Movies
Thursday, Nov. 7, 2002
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