espn.com Ali Contest
Jim Harrick, David Wells, Anna Kournikova and the folks at St. Bonaventure are all having a tough week. But, at least none of their mistakes was as permanent as a Billy Bob tattoo on your left shoulder. 'Cause we hate to leave anybody hanging -- especially Ms. Jolie -- Page 2 is pleased to provide all these troubled souls a way out.
"WHAT THE HECK ARE THEY THINKING?"




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Ah, the rites of spring: The weather begins to warm up, pitchers and catchers report to Arizona and Florida ... and every publication in America runs a sappy story about how great spring training is. Enough already, says Page 2's Eric Neel. No matter how much he reads about the new phenom or the heartwarming comeback, our man vows that he won't trust one word during the spring.

The Daily Quickie Hunter S. Thompson
What do the Police have in common with Jim Harrick? No, not those police (that's too easy), we're talking about Sting's old band. The Daily Quickie has the answer as it provides a musical backdrop for all of today's hot stories, including spring beanballs, Bob Knight, the NBA MVP race and, of course, college scandal.
He lost big on his 'Cats in '02. He went down in flames with the Raiders in Super Bowl XXXVII. Still, Page 2's Hunter S. Thompson hasn't learned his lesson. The Good Doctor is still putting his money where his heart is, and he's once again wagering big -- we mean, really big -- on his beloved Kentucky squad this March.

THE LAND DOWN UNDER
Australia is a beautiful country that gave us Nicole Kidman and Elle MacPherson. Page 2's Jim Caple says it's also one of the places in the world that produces even weirder sports news than America. After a recent trip Down Under, Caple compares Aussie sports to the good ol' USA.


The hot rumor right now is that one of the conditions for Pete Rose's reinstatement into baseball is for Charlie Hustle to admit that he lied when he said he never bet on the National Pastime. Page 2 loves this stuff -- in fact, we're using the opportunity to reflect on the top 10 lies ever told in sports history. Check out our list and then vote for your favorite fib.
10]  Peter Ueberroth on collusion: "You can't get 26 owners to agree on anything"
Some charged baseball's owners with colluding to hold down salaries -- a clear violation of the collective bargaining agreement -- as early as 1985. Ueberroth denied anything of the sort, but the owners were eventually found guilty to the tune of $280 million.
9]  David Wells: I was "half-drunk" when I pitched my perfect game
Unless you've been out of the country for the last two weeks, you know this story very well by now. The hefty lefty now claims that he was misquoted in his autobiography.
8]  Tim Johnson: "I saw combat in 'Nam"
Johnson, in his first year as a big-league skipper in 1998, motivated his Blue Jays by telling them stories about his days of combat as a marine in Vietnam. Trouble is, it was all a lie ... and it eventually cost Johnson his job.
  • GET THE FULL LIST


VEGAS' ODDS TO WIN 2003 NBA Finals
Kings 9-5   Nets 11-2
Mavericks 3-1   Trail Blazers 15-1
Lakers 3-1   Pistons 33-1
Pacers 9-2   Celtics 40-1
Spurs 5-1   Sixers 45-1
Complete line


 
Got a comment about something you've seen on Page 2? Here's your chance to sound off to the editors and columnists. Plus, if you'd like to send an e-mail to The Sports Guy, here's your direct link to Bill Simmons.


KG FOR MVP
Page 2's Eric Neel explains why Kevin Garnett should reject the MVP award that he so richly deserves.

THE LIST
Page 2's Tim Keown feels it's his philanthropic duty to teach cheating basketball programs on how to not get caught.

THE WATER COOLER
From March Madness to baseball to the award shows -- it doesn't get any better than spring, writes Page 2's Brian Murphy.

SLICK SLOGANS
We decided the marketing geniuses at MLB needed help with team slogans, so Eric Immerman wrote one for all 30 big-league clubs.

NAKED TRUTH
Why would anyone voluntarily disrobe in front of millions? Wayne Drehs gets the lowdown on the world's top sports streaker.

BASKETBALL DIARY
As the Pistons, Nets and Pacers all slump, Page 2's Charley Rosen says it seems no one wants to be No. 1 in the East.
If your favorite writer isn't on Page 2 today, click here to check out our full roster of columnists.


It's an actor from "Without a Trace," and a guy who Georgia hopes will disappear soon: Page 2 has received 55 requests for the match of Anthony LaPaglia, left, and Jim Harrick. Browse our archives of past pairs or click here to submit a future duo for Page 2.


Men's hoop: Horizon championship
7 p.m. ET, ESPN
Butler vs. Milwaukee-Wisconsin.
 
Women's hoop: Big East champ.
7 p.m. ET, ESPN2
31-0 UConn wants title to show for it.
 
Men's hoop: Mid-Continent champ.
9 p.m. ET, ESPN2
Valpo vs. IUPUI for the nets of middle America.
 
• Complete TV listings


If you missed Page 2 over the last week, check out our back issues:
• Mon., March 10: Bringin' the Heat
• Fri., March 7: Pill-Poppers
• Thurs., March 6: Naked Truth
• Wed., March 5: Perfect Storm
• Tues., March 4: Anna's Marriage

Other featured content:
• Page 2's Ultimate Scorecard
• 10 Burning Questions with Jennie Finch
• Diary of Anna Kournikova's marriage
• The top 10 divorces in sports history
• The Clippers win it all in 2004
• Vote for the best throwback jerseys
Tuesday, March 11, 2003
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