espn.com Ali Contest
The Iraqi regime has been toppled, and his old boss is either in hiding or buried under the rubble. But all is not lost for Iraqi mouthpiece Mohammad Saeed Al-Sahhaf, who probably expects U.S. forces to surrender any day now. Page 2's Jim Caple says this wacky Iraqi might have a future broadcasting America's National Pastime. CAPLE: A REAL YES MAN




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Mike Weir wasn't the only lefty to win big at the 2003 Masters. Page 2's Ralph Wiley says that while the leaderboard says Phil Mickelson finished third, no one triumphed more than Lefty this weekend. Not only did Mickelson finally play great in the final round at Augusta, he proved that he's cool enough to handle the result either way.

Sportoon Women in Uniform
If you thought Form 1040EZ was confusing ... well, yeah, so did we. But imagine what a nightmare your taxes would be, if you were a professional athlete. As we all race to beat the IRS' April 15 deadline, Page 2's Sportoon examines the hardships faced by Shawn Kemp, Anna Kournikova and many others.
 At Page 2, we profess to be experts on a lot of things. Women's fashion ain't one of them. However, we know plenty about crafting an entire wardrobe out of team jerseys -- and we've noticed that trend has caught on with some famous females. From Mariah to Shania to Britney, jerseys are clearly en vogue.

THE DAILY QUICKIE
For Page 2's Daily Quickie, the toughest part about the Roy Williams saga is trying to figure out who got screwed the worst. KU fans and players? Ex-UNC coach Matt Doherty? Ex-KU AD Al Bohl? Incoming KU recruits? We'll just say there more losers than winners.


After opening 0-9 for the season consecutive season, the Detroit Tigers are horrendously bad. However, they're not bad enough to make Page 2's list of the 10 worst pro sports teams of all-time -- at least not yet. Check out our list and vote for the worst of the worst.
10]  1936 Philadelphia Eagles (1-11)
After winning their opener against the Giants, the Eagles lost the next 11 to close out the season. Early in the year, Philly was shut out four games in a row, and during the entire season only managed to score 51 points, while surrendering 206.
9]  1980-81 Winnipeg Jets (9-57-14)
In their second NHL season, the Jets set both an NHL and a modern major pro sports record by going 30 games without a win in November and December.
8]  1952 Pittsburgh Pirates (42-112)
The Pirates slid in September, winning only four of their last 22 games to finish 22½ games behind the seventh-place Boston Braves. "They finished last -- on merit," Pittsburgh GM Branch Rickey said.
  • GET THE FULL LIST


VEGAS' ODDS TO WIN 2004 SUPER BOWL
Eagles 5-1   Raiders 10-1
Rams 6-1   Dolphins 10-1
Buccaneers 7-1   Packers 15-1
Steelers 7-1   49ers 15-1
Patriots 10-1   Giants 15-1
Complete line


 
Got a comment about something you've seen on Page 2? Here's your chance to sound off to the editors and columnists. Plus, if you'd like to send an e-mail to The Sports Guy, here's your direct link to Bill Simmons.


THE WATER COOLER
It was a long week at Augusta, but all the Cooler needs to get through it is Jim Belushi, Miguel Angel Jimenez and some peach cobbler.

A FAN'S NOTES
It's mid-April, but it's not too late for Dodgers fans like Eric Neel to start lamenting what they see in the NL West.

FREE SPEECH
How does a movie about minor league baseball turn into a statement on patriotism? Page 2's Jim Caple is here to investigate "Bull Durham."

BASKETBALL DIARY
As the NBA season comes to a close, Page 2's Charley Rosen grades the performances of the coaches in the West and East.

THE SPORTS GUY
When Page 2's Bill Simmons met Mike Tyson on a rooftop in Harlem, he was a little surprised by the Iron Mike that he encountered.

TRIAL & ERROR
Is Kirby Puckett a monster, a hero or a little of both? Page 2's Ralph Wiley examines an athlete we once thought we "knew."
If your favorite writer isn't on Page 2 today, click here to check out our full roster of columnists.


If the Red Wings' Kris Draper, left, seems like a tough guy, it might because of his resemblance to actor Chuck Norris. This match was requested by nine of our readers. Browse our archives of past pairs or click here to submit a future duo for Page 2.


NHL Playoffs: Devils at Bruins
7 p.m. ET, ESPN
Steve Shields wasn't the problem. 
 
NHL Playoffs: Lightning at Capitals
7 p.m. ET, ESPN2
Uh-oh, Bolts last win at Washington was in 1998.
 
NHL Playoffs: Stars at Oilers
9 p.m. ET, ESPN2
It's déja vu, all over again.
 
• Complete TV Listings


If you missed Page 2 over the last week, check out our back issues:
• Fri., April 11: No Nuke!
• Thurs., April 10: Graded & Degraded
• Wed., April 9: Meet Iron Mike
• Tue., April 8: Bracketville, U.S.A.

Other featured content:
• Page 2's 2003 Wacky Bracket
• What's Hot for Stanley Cup playoffs
• What the Heck Are They Thinking?
• Page 2's Ultimate Scorecard
Tuesday, April 15, 2003
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