espn.com Ali Contest
TMQ runs the 40 in 5.7. He can't bench 225 even once. And his hair doesn't have half the volume of Mel Kiper Jr.'s. Yet when it comes to the 2003 NFL Draft, our man stands just as tall as the titans of pigskin. His long-awaited 2003 Mockery Draft has arrived, and Mystique, Jack and Buffy will all hear their names called.
TMQ: PLEASE STOP MOCKING ME!




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The Sports Guy has been busy with "other things" lately -- a wedding, a late-night TV show -- but he still loves this game. Today, he counts down the 15 losers in the NBA In-Your-Faceoff until only a single "Survivor" remains on the championship island. And we'll just say that Shaq and Kobe no longer appear have their immunity necklaces. Plus, Page 2's Sportoon has a recap of what we've seen in the postseason thus far.

The Daily Quickie Heroes & Villains
It's the most important night of the hockey season, with three Game 7s in the playoffs. So, the Daily Quickie wonders, why are four teams being forced to play on less than 24 hours rest. The DQ also revisits the feud between The Boss and St. Joe in the Bronx Zoo.
What do Magic Johnson, Charlie Brown, Joe Montana and referees of every stripe have in common? They're the ultimate heroes of Page 2's columnists -- yes, as we know better than most, our guys are sickos -- as we continue our celebration of Heroes and Villains Week.

TWO WORDS: NAKED BOWLING
When you think of bowling, you probably think of fat guys in monogrammed shirts who look a lot like Homer Simpson. Page 2's Hunter S. Thompson thinks of "extremely naked women with huge breasts implants and fake lips." Yes, the Good Doctor has discovered naked bowling.


We all have our favorite athletes. You know, the ones we'll talk about for the rest of our lives. Are they worthy of Page 2's list of the greatest sports heroes of all time? Check out our list and vote for your hero or tell us who we forgot.
10]  1980 U.S. Olympic Hockey Team
The "Miracle on Ice" not only took down the world's best en route to the gold medal, but they made everything look brighter in a nation suffering through a "national malaise."
9]  Billie Jean King
King was the best tennis player of her time, and one of the all-time greats. She fought for equal prize money -- and got it. Isn't that right, Mr. Riggs?
8]  Joe DiMaggio
Despite what has been written lately of the Yankee Clipper, almost every fan can agree that his fame and heroic stature may be equaled, but never topped.
  • GET THE FULL LIST


NBA FAVORITE LINE UNDERDOG O/U
Tuesday Nets 6 Bucks 188½
Tuesday Lakers 2 T-Wolves 195
Wednesday Pistons 5½ Magic 181
Wednesday Sixers 4½ Hornets 183½
Wednesday Mavs 6 Blazers 192
Bold indicates home team | Complete line


 
Got a comment about something you've seen on Page 2? Here's your chance to sound off to the editors and columnists. Plus, if you'd like to send an e-mail to The Sports Guy, here's your direct link to Bill Simmons.


THE WATER COOLER
What does the art in Saddam Hussein's palace say about him? Ummm, Page 2's Brian Murphy provides a very disturbing answer.

WE THE PEOPLE
He doesn't jump like Kobe or score like Iverson, but he might be the smartest player in the NBA. Page 2's Eric Neel introduces you to him.

THE SPORTS GUY
Page 2's Bill Simmons won't be around for the Boston Marathon, but he still took the time to offer a crash course on his hometown's race.

COURT ORDER
When Page 2's Eric Neel tried to list 10 ways the NBA playoffs are better than the NHL, he couldn't just stop there.

ICE ICE BABY
When Page 2's Jim Armstrong was asked to come up with 10 reasons the NHL playoffs are better than the NBA, it only took one Molson.

BEST COACHING JOBS
Roy Williams faced a tough choice -- but not as tough as deciding on the 10 best coaching jobs in all of sports.
If your favorite writer isn't on Page 2 today, click here to check out our full roster of columnists.


Page 2 has received 46 requests for the match of these two bad boys: Leafs left winger Darcy Tucker and actor Russell Crowe. Browse our archives of past pairs or click here to submit a future duo for Page 2.


NHL Playoffs: Leafs at Flyers
7 p.m. ET, ESPN
It all comes down to this.
 
NHL Playoffs: Wild at Avs
10 p.m. ET, ESPN
Go on or go home.
 
NHL Playoffs: Blues at Canucks
10:30 p.m. ET, ESPN2
Pick a Game 7, any Game 7.
 
• Complete TV Listings


If you missed Page 2 over the last week, check out our back issues:
• Mon., April 19: Paging Dr. Evil
• Fri., April 18: NHL vs. NBA playoffs
• Thurs., April 17: Traitors!
• Wed., April 16: Air Quality

Other featured content:
• 10 Burning Questions for Mike Bibby
• Page 2 columnists reflect on MJ
• Fashion Report: Women in Uniform
• Page 2's 2003 Wacky Bracket
Tuesday, April 22, 2003
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