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	If the rest of the 21st century is as chock-full of bozos as the first 30 months have been, we're in for one wild ride. Ever since O.J. took top honors as the Biggest Jerk in the last 100 years, we've seen a deluge of dingleberries raining down on sense and sensibility in the effort to succeed him. Page 2's Jim Armstrong names some early winners. THE JERKY BOYS

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	Page 2's Charley Rosen says there are 401 reasons the Lakers' dynasty is done, and only one of them is Kobe's selfishness. The other 400 are the pounds Shaq tried to drag up and down the court this season. Unless the 'Big Load' lays off the eats and slims down, the halcyon days are over in La-la Land.

Battle of the Sexes		The Daily Quickie

	When it upsets the domestic tranquillity in the Weekend Water Cooler's happy home, the Vijay Singh-Annika Sorenstam controversy has gone far enough. No wonder Brian Murphy can't wait for the Colonial to end, and the National Spelling Bee to start.		The Daily Quickie finds enough beauty in the last 10 seconds to offset the ugliness of the rest of Game 1 between the Pistons and the Nets. Plus this brain-teaser: Is Funny Cide the Little Horse That Could, or Couldn't?

WHAT THE HECK?

What the heck could Halle Berry have been thinking when she disavowed any knowledge of her loveliness? What did Bill Parcells have in mind when he kept the Cowboys' rooks star-less? And who can explain Madonna?

A little more than six months after the Angels won the World Series, the Ducks are just four wins away from the Stanley Cup. Sometimes, the sports stars just seem to align over one city, resulting in one delicious year for local sports fans. What makes a great year? You tell us. We give you Page 2's greatest sports years in history:
10]	Cleveland (1954) The Indians won a then-record 111 games, the Brown won the NFL title with a 56-10 victory and Ohio State was national football champs.

9]	New York (1986-87) Still basking in the glow of the Mets win over the Red Sox in the World Series, New York fans had more to celebrate when LT and the Giants won the Super Bowl a few months later.

8]	Los Angeles (1988) The Lakers won their second title in as many years to be the first back-to-back NBA champs in almost 20 years. Not to be outdone, the Dodgers were another team of destiny, downing the A's in five games to win the World Series.
	• GET THE FULL LIST

NBA	FAVORITE	LINE	UNDERDOG	O/U
Monday	Spurs	7	Mavericks	199
Tuesday	Pistons	1½	Nets	179
Bold indicates home team \| Complete line


	Got a comment about something you've seen on Page 2? Here's your chance to sound off to the editors and columnists. Plus, if you'd like to send an e-mail to The Sports Guy, here's your direct link to Bill Simmons.

	FEELIN' THE X Eric Neel offers up his point-and-shoot scrapbook of memories from his weekend in San Antonio.
	PGA PIG TOUR There's nothing more annoying to Page 2's Jason Whitlock than a black man of influence forgetting where he came from. Are you listening Vijay?
	KIDD'S GAME Ralph Wiley picked the Nets to win it all before the season. Thanks to Jason Kidd, it just may happen.
	THE SPORTS GUY Bill Simmons has all the movers, shakers, losers and fakers from the NBA playoffs in his annual stock watch.
	THE LIST When someone hits 500 homers, they're in the Hall, right? Page 2's Tim Keown thinks Fred McGriff could challenge that rule.


	If your favorite writer isn't on Page 2 today, click here to check out our full roster of columnists.

It's Royals centerfielder Carlos Beltran, left, and "That 70's Show" star Wilmer Valderamma (aka "Fez"). This match comes to us from Noah Cundiff of Kansas City, Missouri. Browse our archives of past pairs or click here to submit a future duo for Page 2.

Softball: Texas vs. Southwest Texas
3 p.m. ET, ESPN2
They don't call 'em Super Regionals for nothing.

NBA Playoffs: Nets at Pistons
8 p.m. ET, ESPN HD
Nets can steal more than home-court.

MLB: Yankees at Red Sox
7:05 p.m. ET, YES
Up to Pedro to knot AL East standings.

• Complete TV Listings

If you missed Page 2 over the last week, check out our back issues:
• Fri., May 16: What the heck?
• Thurs., May 15: NBA Boom & Bust
• Wed., May 14: Catfight night!
• Tues., May 13: Getting dumberer

Other featured content:
• Illegal Motion: Page 2's Scandal Detector
• Being ... Mr. Met
• What the Heck Are They Thinking?
• Page 2's 2003 Wacky Bracket

Monday, May 19, 2003