George O'Leary lost his dream job at Notre Dame because he fibbed on his résumé decades ago and never corrected the indiscretions. For this, he not only is out as the Fighting Irish head coach, he's also out at Georgia Tech (from where he resigned to take the Irish coaching gig) and now finds himself about as marketable as Ian Woosnam's ex-caddy.

	George O'Leary isn't the only one who stretches the truth during the holiday season.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to everyone! You probably heard about the mess with Notre Dame, so I don't need to explain our disappointment and embarrassment. Despite losing two jobs in one week, we are not in bad shape financially. That's because George has been moonlighting for the past several months as the chief accountant for Bud Selig. That keeps the money coming in steadily (though George insists that with the near-move to South Bend we still spent more than we took in). George It's during times like these when you need your close friends and family to rally around you, and we are blessed in that department. Sidd Finch, who learned the circle change from George when we vacationed in Port St. Lucie in the spring of 1985, called immediately and offered George his Tibetan hut so he could escape the reporters (thank God he turned that down!). Right after that, Rosie Ruiz called to say she would never forget George for taking time to work with her when she was training for the Boston Marathon. Then former Vice President Al Gore called and lent his sympathy, even getting George to laugh about some of the mischief they got into during their college days when they were inventing the Internet. And then Shaquille O'Neal called and said he could take George's mind off things by setting him up for a night with Cindy Crawford or Venus Williams. What a rascal that Shaq is! What with all these phone calls, I haven't had much time to decorate for Christmas. I did set up the nativity scene, but in doing so, I accidentally knocked George's Masters certificate from NYU-Stony Brook off the wall. The glass broke on the frame but there was no further damage, and we had a good chuckle thinking back to the many all-nighters he pulled writing his ground-breaking thesis on the Cardiff Giant, Piltdown Man and the Kensington Rune Stone. (Thank God I didn't knock down his Grammy for 1989 New Artist of the Year -- George would be devastated!) Well, that's about all I have time for. I need to get to the birthday party over at the Almontes'. Just what do you get a 12-year-old anyway when you can't find the Spanish editions of Harry Potter? George, meanwhile, has to leave for the annual reunion of his old Marines unit. I just hope he, Tim Johnson and Bob Kerrey don't drone on too long when they get to reminiscing about burning peasant huts with their Zippo lighters in Vietnam. Hope your Christmas is a joyful one. Sharon and George O'Leary

Dear Friends, Bud Selig I'm profoundly saddened to say it has been another terrible year for us. Bud signed a three-year contract extension that will pay him $6 million annually until 2006, but we still can't seem to make ends meet. The alternator just went out on the Lexus, the roof leaks, the furnace needs to be replaced and the dog peed all over the carpet when we were away at the World Series, so we have to replace that as well. Bud says our household lost $1.2 million last year and that we have to find a myriad of ways to save money. He didn't say, but I guess that means no more trips to Minnesota and Montreal, for starters. He said if we don't live within our budget, we might have to move to Northern Virginia, but I put my foot down over that. I told him, "We are where we are." Have as happy a new year as possible, given the terrible financial situation. Sue and Bud Selig

Anna Maniac From: Anna Kournikova To: My many fans Subject: Here you are ; ) Cc: Log on to my website for a Christmas photo of me hanging my stocking!

Season's greetings! Whew! There's a lot of catching up to do. Despite rave reviews for Nate's work as a football analyst last year, he switched careers yet again. He moved outside the world of football this time, taking over as the CEO of an exciting new company in the pharmaceutical industry. Nate's company is among the Southwest's biggest distributors of a drug that is instrumental in treating glaucoma patients. This is a potentially very lucrative field, but his negotiations with the FDA, DEA (and other government agencies) are in a very sensitive stage right now, and his legal staff advises me that I can't go into too much detail. Even with all Nate's responsibilities, he found time to play Santa and load up the "sleigh" several times with a couple hundred more pounds of bags and packages to deliver to all the good little boys and girls. We're all so proud of him. Have a very Merry Christmas and let's all try to see each other soon, say in seven to 10 years. The Newtons

Memo: From general manager Dan Duquette To: All Boston Red Sox employees Re: Holiday season I suppose you'll be wanting tomorrow off again, same as last year. Well, see that you report to work early the day after to make up for it! Merry Christmas. P.S. You're fired, Cratchit

Merry Christmas, everyone! I was going to send out a Christmas newsletter this year, but then I decided I didn't feel like it. Randy Moss

Jim Caple is a senior writer for Page 2.