|A royal rumble of bit players|
By Jim Caple
Page 2 columnist
If you were eagerly looking forward to the Tonya Harding-Amy Fisher bout, there is some bad news. Fisher has bowed out of the fight. The Long Island Lolita may have shot her lover's wife in the head but she does have some standards ... or, to be more precise, her parole officer does. Fortunately, Paula Jones does not.
Besides, it's the undercard that is the real attraction here -- Danny Bonaduce versus Barry Williams, Danny Partridge versus Greg Brady in the Bomb of Sitcom.
And if you think that's over the top, consider the latest bout added to the card, Vanilla Ice vs. Willis from "Diff'rent Strokes."
Some see this as a desperate network sinking to new lows. And perhaps it is. But who are we to say? After all, our partner network, ABC, gave us "The Battle of the Network Stars" a couple of decades ago. And that classic piece of trash was brilliantly parodied by SCTV with "Battle of the PBS Stars," featuring an unforgettable bout between Mr. Rogers and Julia Child.
So, this Greg vs. Danny fight isn't that strange at all. In fact, there is an entire tournament of bouts we would like to see among TV has-beens and scandal-ridden wretches.
Here's how the first round matchups look. Fill out your own tournament bracket, then click here to see how it compares to the first-round results and the second-round matchups.
Jim Caple is a senior writer for ESPN.com.