Did you pay attention this year?
By Jim Caple
Page 2 columnist

How closely did you pay attention to sports in 2003? Take our annual year-in-review sports quiz and find out if you paid way, way too much attention

1. After an eight-month search, who did coalition forces find cowering in an eight-foot by 30-inch by 30-inch spider hole, living on nothing but Mars bars and 7-Up?

A) Grady Little
B) Steve Bartman
C) Saddam Hussein

Lance Armstrong

2. What amazing feat did Lance Armstrong perform this summer?

A) He won the Tour de France for the fifth time
B) He won the 24 Hours at LeMans race for the sixth time
C) He ate at a French restaurant where the waiters were polite and bathed regularly
D) He didn't see a single ad for Geico

3. What did LeBron James wear that got him in such hot water?

A) Wes Unseld and Gale Sayers throwback jerseys
B) Reebok basketball shoes after signing a $90 million contract with Nike
C) An Abercrombie & Fitch shirt
D) Brandi Chastain's sports bra

4. Who did Mia Hamm marry?

A) The Bachelor
B) Joe Millionaire
C) Alex Rodriguez
D) Nomar Garciaparra

5. What was Mike Price's record at Alabama?

A) 212-36
B) 0-0
C) 5-6
D) Two strippers and four pitchers in a single night

Sammy Sosa

6. What was hidden in Sammy Sosa's bat?

A) Cork
B) Aluminum
C) Gum from old packs of baseball cards
D) Weapons of mass destruction

7. What was Arnold Schwarzenegger elected as this fall?

A) Governor of California
B) Mr. Universe
C) Mr. October
D) Miss America

8. What did Kansas coach Roy Williams tell a CBS reporter who asked if he was going to North Carolina right after he lost the NCAA championship?

A) "No, I'm going to Disneyland!"
B) "Why, do you need a ride?"
C) "No, I'm going to Bourbon Street with Larry Eustachy and Mike Price"
D) "I haven't thought about that for a second"

9. Who did Pirates first baseman Randall Simon hit with a baseball bat during the sausage race in Milwaukee?

A) The Polish Sausage
B) The Bratwurst
C) The Italian Sausage
D) The Italian Stallion

10. Which distinguished writer had a book on the bestseller list this March?

A) Maya Angelou
B) John Irving
C) Norman Mailer
D) David Wells

Grady Little

11. What was the major reason Grady Little was fired as the Boston Red Sox manager?

A) Partying with co-eds at Iowa
B) Sleeping with strippers at Alabama
C) Sticking with Pedro Martinez too long in Game 7
D) Sticking with strippers too long after Game 7

12. Coach Jon Gruden of the Super Bowl champion Tampa Bay Buccaneers is said to bear an uncomfortable resemblance to what hideous character?

A) Martha Stewart
B) Chucky from the Child's Play horror movies
C) Sasquatch
D) Michael Jackson's mug shot

13. What was Portland Trail Blazers player Damon Stoudamire caught trying to sneak past airport security?

A) A handgun
B) A fake ID
C) Marijuana wrapped in aluminum foil
D) A cucumber wrapped in aluminum foil

14. What act of kindness did Portland Trail Blazers coach Maurice Cheeks perform last spring?

A) He helped a 13-year-old girl sing the national anthem
B) He helped 41-year-old John Stockton cross the street
C) He helped Damon Stoudamire light up his stash
D) He helped owner Paul Allen lower his income tax burden

15. What determined home-field advantage in the World Series for the first time this year?

A) Best winning percentage
B) Winner of All-Star Game
C) Winner of Little League World Series
D) Rock, paper, scissors

16. What has been the top-rated program this year?

A) Super Bowl XXXVII
B) Game 7, Red Sox-Yankees playoffs
C) Final Four championship
D) The Paris Hilton video

17. On the following list, who is the youngest?

A) Jack McKeon
B) Joe Paterno
C) Don Zimmer
D) Wilford Brimley

18. What amazing driving feat did Michael Schumacher accomplish?

A) He won the Indy 500 for the fourth time
B) He won his sixth F-1 title
C) He won the Daytona 500 for the fifth time
B) He understood what the attendant said over the speaker in the drive-thru lane at McDonald's

19. What was NOT one of the U.S. team's notable achievements at the world gymnastics championships?

A) The U.S. women won the gold in the team competition
B) Paul Hamm won the gold in the men's all-around
C) Paul Hamm won the gold in the men's high bar
D) Advisor Bela Karolyi allowed the U.S. women to Biggie-Size an order of rice cakes and Tab

20. Which had the shorter running time?

A) "Love, Actually"
B) "Master and Commander"
C) "Pirates of the Caribbean"
D) Paul Tergat in the Berlin Marathon

Keira Goerl

21. Keira Goerl pitched all 47 innings of the NCAA softball tournament, including a no-hitter in the championship game. Who did she pitch for?

A) Oklahoma
C) Arizona State
D) Grady Little

22. Dave Bliss was fired as Baylor basketball coach after doing what?

A) Drinking with Larry Eustachy
B) Going to a strip club with Mike Price
C) Joining Rick Neuheisel's NCAA pool
D) Instructing players to lie to investigators and tell that their murdered teammate was selling drugs

23. What did the St. Bonaventure's basketball team vote to do?

A) Decline an NIT invitation
B) Join the ACC
C) Not play their final games in protest
D) Party with Larry Eustachy

24. Why did former Mets assistant Bill Singer say he made racist remarks to Dodgers assistant general manager Kim Ng?

A) He was drunk
B) He was a moron
C) He was on a low-carb diet
D) He was auditioning to be Pat Buchanan's running mate

Freddy Adu

25. How old is Freddy Adu, the soccer phenom recently signed to an estimated $500,000 MLS contract?

A) 14
B) Young enough to pitch for the Bronx Little League team
C) Too old for Michael Jackson
D) All of the above

26. Why was the Nov. 22 game between the Edmonton Oilers and the Montreal Canadiens historic?

A) It was played outdoors in 2-degree temperature
B) There wasn't a single fight
C) It marked the latest start ever to the Stanley Cup playoffs
D) Don Cherry was silent for five minutes, three of them consecutive

27. What injury knocked Jacksonville Jaguars punter Chris Hanson out for the season?

A) Torn ACL on a late hit
B) Shin split open with an ax while chopping a tree stump
C) Second-degree burns from spilled fondue pot
D) Whiplash from watching cheerleaders perform on sideline

28. What extraordinary feat of stamina did the older cousin of actor Ralph Fiennes accomplish?

A) He bicycled from Normandy to Beijing
B) He swam the English Channel
C) He ran seven marathons in seven days on six continents
D) He sat through a double feature of "Maid in Manhattan'' and "Gigli"

29. How long has Joe Paterno been the head coach at Penn State?

A) 33 years
B) 38 years
C) 42 years
D) Too long

30. What did Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban say would be good publicity for the NBA?

A) LeBron James
B) The Kobe Bryant trial
C) Yao Ming marrying J-Lo
D) The Trail Blazers sharing their stash with all their fans

LeBron James

31. What high school did LeBron James graduate from?

A) St. Vincent-St. Mary High
B) DeMatha High
C) Power Memorial
D) Phil Knight Prep

32. Who is the president of Augusta National who defended the club's no women membership rule?

A) Hootie Johnson
B) Goober Johnson
C) Gomer Johnson
D) Bubba Hootie

33. Who won the Nathan's hot dog eating contest by eating 44 1/2 hot dogs in 12 minutes?

A) William Perry
B) David Wells
C) Takeru Kobayashi
D) Roger Ebert

34. Who moved up a weight class to win the WBA heavyweight championship then lost weight to win the light heavyweight belt again?

A) Roy Jones
B) Mike Tyson
C) Lennox Lewis
D) Don Zimmer

35. What is NOT in the Oregon Ducks new $3.2 million football locker room?

A) 60-inch plasma TVs with DVD and Xbox
B) Individual Internet hookups and ventilation systems at each locker
C) A locker set aside for Nike owner Phil Knight
D) Two staffs of Hooters waitresses, one for offense and another for defense

Anna Kournikova

36. What long-awaited event finally took place this year, fulfilling the dreams of fans everywhere?

A) The Cubs played the Red Sox in the World Series
B) Anna Kournikova posed for Playboy
C) George Steinbrenner was run over by a bus
D) "Arliss" was cancelled

37. What did Philadelphia do to mark the end at Veterans Stadium?

A) Let Tug McGraw throw the ceremonial final pitch
B) Let Santa Claus throw the ceremonial final pitch -- and booed him
C) Brought in Lenny Dykstra to spit the final wad of tobacco
D) Showed live video of the Eagles cheerleaders undressing in the locker room

38. What mascot did the University of Mississippi drop?

A) Colonel Reb
B) Colonel Parker
C) General Lee
D) Lieutenant Dan

39. After a nearly two-year legal fight over ownership of Barry Bonds' 73rd home-run ball, what became of the baseball?

A) The two guys gave it to Barry
B) They donated it to charity
C) They auctioned if off for less than their legal costs
D) Steve Bartman dropped it

40. Why did the NFL fine Joe Horn $30,000?

A) He made a cell phone call in the end zone after scoring a touchdown
B) He called a Boston talk show during his honeymoon with Mia Hamm
C) He didn't call in the Vikings' pick quickly enough on draft day
D) He called Paul Tagliabue and asked if his refrigerator was running

Jim Caple is a senior writer for ESPN.com



Jim Caple Archive

Part I: Sex & Sports, 2003

Part II: Sex & Sports, 2003

Caple: The year that wasn't

The List: Best lists of 2003

Email story
Most sent
Print story

espn Page 2 index